Approaching Her Again
Do not expect that she still likes you. While it is painful to accept, your girlfriend may have moved on since your break-up. Before approaching her again, keep in mind that she may not want to get back together with you. If she rejects you, don't take it personally. Maybe there was a reason why you broke up in the first place.
Send her a text. Calling her might feel too forward, so ease in with a text. Let her know you are thinking about her. Maybe you heard a song that reminds you of her? Or, you re-watched movie that you two had seen together. Keep it light and friendly, and ask her how she's doing. You might say something like, "Hey! I was walking in the mall and I heard our favorite song... it made me think of you. How are things?" If she doesn't text back right away, don't despair. She might just be thinking of the right thing to say. If you can, try to regularly keep in touch with her.
Ask her to spend time together as friends. If she responds positively, consider asking her out to a social event as friends. You could invite her to a school basketball game, or to eat lunch together in the cafeteria. See her in a public setting with other friends so she feels more comfortable.
Show her that you care about her. Make a list of your girlfriend's favorite things and activities. Does she have a favorite musician that is playing an upcoming concert? You could find tickets and surprise her with them. Or, if she just got her driver's license, you could find a cool key chain that is relevant to one of her hobbies (like a tennis ball key chain if she plays tennis). However, you don't have to spend money to show that you care. If she told you she has a test coming up, call or text her afterwards and ask how it went. Offer support if she's feeling anxious. Simply being thoughtful and listening will show that you want to be involved in her life.
Having an Honest Conversation
Plan what you want to say in advance. Think about the circumstances that ended your relationship. Did you have a fight? Did one of you cheat? Why do you want to give things a second chance? Knowing exactly may help convince her to go out with you again. Writing down your thoughts may help you determine what, exactly, you want to say.
Ask to see her alone. Don't try to have this kind of conversation over text or the phone, even if you've become close friends again. Invite her to dinner or for a walk in the park. Find a place that's quiet so you can be alone together.
Explain that you still have feelings for her. Mention specific activities you enjoyed doing together, and tell her you miss doing those things together. Be honest about your feelings and the qualities about her that you like and respect about her. You could say something like, "I really miss studying together -- you're so smart and always have interesting opinions about the material we're learning." You could try reminding her of all the good times you had in your relationship.
Tell her why this time will be different. If she was upset about your break-up, she may ask, "Why should we get back together? How will this time be different?" Point out things about yourself that have changed -- perhaps you feel more mature and ready for a relationship? Maybe you broke up because you were stressed with final papers and exams. For example, you might say something like "I was really overwhelmed by final exams and needed to be alone, but our time apart made me realize how much I miss having you in my life."
Let her talk. Give her the chance now to say how she feels. If she was upset about your break-up, she may need more time to feel ready to trust you again. It's possible she no longer has feelings for you, or she wants to stay friends. She might also have a new crush, or a new boyfriend. Respect what she says. Try to stay calm if you don't get the answer you want.
Accept her answer. If she wants to get back together, great! Think of this as a fresh start to your relationship. That way, you'll avoid making the same mistakes you did the first time you dated. If she says no or isn't sure, give her time. She still might change her mind, but needs time to process her feelings. It's okay to feel sad during this time. Facing rejection is not easy. Take things slow. You've likely both changed since you were together. Take the time to get to know each other again.
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