How to Deal With a Snob

Countering Snobbish Behavior

Don’t allow yourself to feel inferior. When someone is a snob, they work hard to make the people around them feel inferior, or less than them. If you refuse to allow anyone to make you feel like less of a person than you are, then their snobbish behavior won’t have that effect on you. Snobs will often use material things or social status as a means of setting themselves above you. If you look at yourself as an equal to the snob, and don’t let their bragging or snobbish behavior make you feel small, then they might recognize this, and move on to someone else, or lessen the behavior. You cannot control other people's reactions or behaviors, but you can deeply reflect on how they are separate from who you are. Their behavior is about them, not about you.

Avoid overreacting. Rather than going with the instinct to be rude back to this person, or to get irritated around them, go out of your way to be polite to them instead. Smile and engage with them like you don’t think they are snobbish at all. This will at least make time with them easier to handle. The saying “kill them with kindness” can apply when dealing with a snob. Someone might feel less inclined to be snobbish to you if all you are giving them is kindness and politeness.

Prove them wrong. Sometimes, someone might act like a snob towards you because they believe stereotypes about you, regarding anything from your level of education to the neighborhood you live in. Of course, stereotypes are often untrue, so rather than getting mad, just prove the person wrong. Show them you are not what they believe you to be. For example, if someone is acting like a snob because they went to university and you went to a community college, engage with them in an intelligent conversation, and show them that you are not unintelligent just because of where you went to school. If you challenge the view someone has on you, they will be forced to reevaluate the ideas they have about you, and the stereotypes they have already formed about you.

Change your own behavior. You absolutely do not have to change who you are just because of one person’s bad behavior, but changing your behavior just on the short-term might help make time with this person more bearable, for your own sake. If this is a co-worker, for example, then just moderate your behavior while you are interacting with them at work. For example, if this particular person seems to go out of their way to put you down, avoid giving them the opportunity to do so. Avoid topics of conversation that usually lead to them bragging or talking themselves up.

Take a break. If you have to be around this person on a daily basis, take breaks when you need them. Excuse yourself politely and take a few moments for yourself. You can say you need to make a phone call, use the restroom, or to step out for a moment. Sometimes the only way to deal with a snob is to distance yourself from them. If you avoid extra, unnecessary contact with this person, it might help make your interactions with them otherwise seem less overwhelming.

Recognize that you are unique. The things this snob might look down on you for are things that make you special and unique. If a snob is making you feel inferior, remember that whatever it is that they are turning their nose up at is something that makes you interesting and different. Sometimes, it is feelings of envy that can result in snobbery, so remind yourself that this person might just be jealous of certain qualities you have, and feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better. Whatever the snobbish person is putting down about you, find the good in it. If they are bragging about their fancy material belongings, be grateful for the things you have, regardless of their social status.

Have sympathy for this person. A snob is only using this behavior to protect him or herself from the insecurities within themselves. They are putting others down because they are having troubles of their own, so show a little more of empathy or understanding. Rather than getting irritated, just be kind and feel sorry for this person. You don’t have to be explicit about feeling sorry for them. Simply offering a kind smile and a nod when they start to speak to you in a snobbish way might turn them off to talking to you that way.

Understanding What Makes Someone a Snob

Realize that this person likely feels insecure. If a person feels insecure about his or herself, they might try to use snobbery to keep others at a distance and protect themselves and what is likely a fragile ego from being harmed. Consider the fact that this person may have been treated poorly by someone just as snobby in the past, and now they have continued the cycle in order to keep from being treated that way again.

Recognize that some people were raised to behave in a snobby way. The way people are raised has a profound effect on the way they interact with others once they are adults. You likely learned behaviors growing up that you might not recognize, just like this person might not notice his or her own snobbery. Don’t always assume someone is being a snob just to be rude or hurtful or to put you down. They might have learned these behaviors from such a young age that they don’t even realize they are doing it. It doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it could be a reason for it happening. If the snob you are dealing with falls into this category, politely let them know that they are saying or doing things that are making the people around them feel inferior, and that they should consider taking more care with their words and actions in the future.

Realize that this person may feel threatened. Again, if a person was raised a certain way, snobbery might be their defense mechanism against social groups that they have not had much exposure to. If someone was raised in a privileged environment, having to engage with people or activities they weren’t raised around could make them feel threatened, and in order to protect themselves or keep themselves separate from the unfamiliar, they might act out in a snobbish way.

Recognizing Snobbish Behavior in Yourself

Recognize issues with your own behavior. Purposefully talking up your belongings, accomplishments, family life, or any other aspect of your life in order to make someone else feel small is snobbish behavior. Make sure you recognize this behavior in yourself. As soon as you recognize the behavior in yourself, work to cease or correct it. Don’t allow yourself to behave in a snobbish way, especially if this behavior in other people irritates or bothers you. Always treat others the way you would like them to treat you in return.

Avoid letting the snob rub off on you. “Reverse snobbery” is when you behave in a snobbish way in response to someone acting that way to you. For example, if you work a blue-collar job and you talk poorly about wealthy people in white-collar positions, that is reverse snobbery. Rather than responding to snobbery with more snobbery, just let it roll off your back. Accept that this other person is behaving in an undesirable way, and try not to let it get to you.

Realize that snobbery can stem from jealousy. If you find yourself jealous of someone else, you might feel the urge to be unnecessarily rude to them or to dislike them because of that envy or jealousy. Rather than falling on this kind of behavior, acknowledge that you are feeling envious, and try to correct it. Instead of feeling jealous of someone else’s material belongings or social status, just look inward and be grateful for what you do have. Consider that there are a good number of people who would likely be jealous of you and your material belongings and social status. Remember that you have personal value and worth outside of personal belongings or social status.