How to Get a Teen to Shower Regularly

Talking to Teens About Hygiene

Educate teens about puberty. Any teen is likely to have some education about what happens during puberty, but they may also not realize the impact of body odor. Furthermore, many teens may know what to expect, but they simply may not realize that it already applies to them. Remember, it isn’t like a teen just wakes up one day knowing they have gone through puberty. Instead, it is a gradual process, and they simply may not realize they are smelly. Ideally, you should start talking to your child about puberty before they reach it, and before they are a teenager. For example, you should explain that when people go through puberty, their body does things differently than it did before. They will sweat, but now this sweat will be smelly. Not only that, but they will grow hair in new places, and this hair can make that smell worse.

Have someone the teen looks up to talk to them. If the teen is the type that doesn't believe a word you say, see if you can enlist the help of someone your teen really looks up to. For example, if you are the mom of a teen boy, he may be more likely to listen to a man that he looks up to, such as his father, uncle, grandfather, or even a close family friend. If the person that is going to talk to him isn’t sure what to say, give them a few pointers. Point out that they should be delicate, and try their best not to make your teen feel embarrassed.

Avoid humiliating teens. When talking with teens about hygiene and showering, it is really important to do your best to avoid making them feel embarrassed. With topics such as hygiene, this can be very easy to do. If they feel embarrassed, they will likely become defensive almost immediately, and they will not want to listen to anything you say, no matter how logical it is. Be empathetic and remember that the teenage years can be really tough and confusing. You can say, for example, “I know that it can be really tough at your age, and this may be at the bottom of your list of priorities, but remember that taking care of your hygiene is important. It may seem like a hassle, but being clean and well-groomed will help make you feel more confident in spite of everything going on.”

Convincing Your Teen to Shower

Set a good example. If you don’t shower regularly why would a teen listen to you nag them about showering? When children become teens, they are much more likely to start questioning certain things than they were before. Though this may sometimes be frustrating for you, it shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing. It simply means they are becoming more independent. If you want a teen to shower regularly, then you need to be in the habit of showering at least as often as you would like them to shower too.

Allow them to pick out their shower products. Teens may feel more inclined to shower if they are excited about the products they use in the shower. It may seem like it shouldn’t matter, but this gives them some control over the situation. For example, maybe your teen doesn’t enjoy the smell of the products you pick. Allowing them to choose the products is a simple way to let them feel more in control of the situation. When you make a run to the drugstore, ask the teen to go with you. When you get there, ask them to pick out the products they want to use in the shower. To help control the price, tell them they can only pick products that cost under a given limit that you set. If a teen isn’t sure what they should get, you can give them a generic list. For example, you can write on the list, “shampoo, hair conditioner, body wash, deodorant.” Of course, you can add anything else you think is necessary to the list, but those are some essential items. When they bring you their selections, try not to make comments about their choices. For example, you might think something smells bad or looks stupid, but they chose it, so obviously they don’t. Making comments will only make them feel embarrassed.

Change the wi-fi password. If you’ve talked to the teen about the importance of maintaining good hygiene, but they still refuse to shower, then you’ll have to find other ways to convince them to get in. Many teens today will be convinced if they aren’t able to access the internet. Change the wi-fi password whenever you want a teen to shower, explain to them that they can have the new wi-fi password once they’ve bathed and that this will keep happening until they are showering on a regular basis. You can also apply this to other privileges. If you don’t have wi-fi or if your teen isn’t interested in using the internet, then think of something that they do value. Maybe they enjoy spending their time drawing. In this case, you could take away their art supplies until they’ve showered. When you explain this to your teen, don’t simply say, “You can have the password when you’ve showered” without explaining why it matters. Instead, try saying, “I’ve changed the wi-fi password, so you won’t be able to use the internet until you’ve taken a shower. I want you to learn that you can enjoy privileges once you’ve taken care of your responsibilities. Taking care of your hygiene is one of those responsibilities.

Considering the Reasons Your Teen isn’t Showering

Consider a teen’s emotional state. During the teen years, there is a lot going on in terms of hormonal changes and body development. Not only that but most teenagers are trying to learn how to be more like adults at the same time. With all of this going on, it isn’t unusual for teens to experience difficult emotions or even depression. Thus, it is important for you to consider whether your teen’s poor hygiene is a sign of something more serious. If a teen was bathing normally but has suddenly stopped, and if you have noticed other symptoms such as moodiness, changes in their school performance or social behavior, or if they have started using drugs or drinking alcohol, then it may be time to seek help from a doctor.

Try to think of reasons why a teen might not want to shower regularly. There may be a logical reason behind why the teen isn’t showering, so you should spend some time reflecting on what those reasons might be instead of just assuming they are being lazy. For example, there's a teen who has very long hair, maybe they aren’t showering because they don’t have time to do their hair afterward. In this case, you could purchase them a shower cap, or suggest that they take a bath on the days that they don’t want to wash their hair. Some people simply don’t need to wash their hair every day. Maybe the young person is having a hard time finding the time to shower. Many teens have a lot on their plates with school, friends, extracurricular activities, and chores. It could be that they feel they can’t find the time. If this is the case, maybe you can help them figure out a way to manage their time better, or even cut out one of their chores so they have 15 extra minutes to shower.

Ask them why they don’t want to shower. Many times, teens rebel over little things simply to feel like they have some control over their lives. If you haven’t already done so, consider asking the teen why they don’t want to shower. Asking will hopefully help you figure out why they don’t want to shower. Additionally, it will also show your teen that you acknowledge that they are growing up and have opinions and thoughts of their own. Hopefully, the reason they don’t want to shower will be a fairly straightforward one. For example, if the teen doesn’t like the smell of the products, then you can easily let them pick ones they do want. On the other hand, if their reason for not showering is more philosophical (e.g. they don’t want to shower because they feel they should be natural, or something like that), then you’re going to have to do a bit more work. You’ll have to spend time educating them on the health implications of poor hygiene and hope that makes sense to them. If it comes to it, you may have to start revoking privileges.

Getting a Teen to Shower When You Are a Teacher

Make sure that you are aware of any rules related to student showering. In some schools, there are rules surrounding whether students are expected to shower after exercise. Before doing anything to encourage a teen to shower at school, make sure that you familiarize yourself with the school’s stance on the matter. For example, though it may be common to have a “shower inspection” after gym class in some schools, other schools may prohibit such inspections. Some schools may not allow showering at all.

Talk to your students about your expectations. If you are a gym teacher or a coach, you can give your students a talk about what you expect from them at the beginning of the year. If your school doesn’t prohibit you from doing so, you can tell your students that you do expect them to shower after gym class and what the consequences of not showering will be. When you talk to your students about showering, you may want to explain that when you say shower, you don’t mean 15 minutes spent washing every inch of their body. A shower after class is simply meant to rinse off the sweat, and shouldn’t take any longer than a couple of minutes. You might also point out to students that showering in front of others may seem a bit awkward at first, but you will get used to it. Remind them that everyone feels self-conscious at first.

Be sensitive to the reasons a student may not want to shower. Most students feel very nervous and awkward showering in front of others, at least at first. While this is to be expected, there are some cases where a student may have a legitimate reason why they don't want to shower in front of their peers. Whether or not you agree with this reason, it is important to listen to what the student has to say, and be sensitive when responding to these reasons. For example, the student may have an issue with their body that makes them feel very anxious about taking off their clothes in front of others. There may even be a religious reason they feel they should not shower. Tell students that they should come talk to you in private if they have a reason that they don't want to shower. If they have a reason, then try to make alternative arrangements. For example, allow them to wash with a washcloth or wear a bathing suit in the shower if they wish. Whether or not you agree with the student's reason for not wanting to shower, you should try to be sensitive. Don't tell them something like, "That's a stupid reason." If the student came to you it means they trust you to listen without judgment. If you react negatively, that student will likely lose their trust in you and will feel even more self-conscious about their reasons for not wanting to shower in front of others.

Explain the dangers of poor hygiene. Your students might be aware of the consequences of showering when it comes to being smelly or looking unkempt; however, they may not be aware that poor hygiene habits can also lead to skin infections and even to infectious diseases such as methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA).

Make sure the students have enough time to shower. One reason teens may not be showering could be that they feel they don’t have enough time to shower and get dressed before they have to be in their next class. People with long or thick hair especially may need more time to get dry and dressed. If you expect them to undress, shower, dry off and then get dressed again, you’re likely going to need to give them more than 5 minutes in-between classes to do all of that, especially if 20 or 30 students will have to share only a few shower heads. If your students are worried about getting their hair wet because they won’t have time to style it the way they like afterward, then suggest that they simply don’t get their hair wet while showering. If they have long hair, they can bring a shower cap, or simply put their hair up in a loose bun, and then let it down when they are done.

Consider alternatives to showering. If, for some reason, the students can’t/won’t shower or don’t have access to showers, consider other methods of removing sweat and staying hygienic. Showering is perhaps the best way, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t alternatives that may help the situation if you can’t get the teens into the shower after exercise. For example, teens could use a wash cloth with a bit of soap and water to deal with the smelliest parts (e.g. underarms). Students might also consider using disinfectant wipes. Though this may not be ideal, it could help the situation if showers simply aren’t an option at your school. Don’t forget to remind students to bring a stick of deodorant to use after exercise. Using deodorant whether or not they take a shower is a good idea.