What is ghost mode?
Ghost mode is taking a break from socializing to focus on personal growth. Derived from the Snapchat feature “Ghost Mode,” which disables your location from being seen by other users, ghost mode is a term that refers to taking an extended break from socializing with others, whether it be on social media or in person. These breaks are typically taken so you have more time to focus on personal growth. These breaks usually don’t end until you’ve accomplished the goal(s) you’ve gone ghost for, and even then, you may not spend as much time on social media as you did prior to the break. Meet the wikiHow Experts Michael Stern is a life coach and the owner of Integral Alignment, a coaching business focused on optimizing your health and spirituality, among other things. Carolyn Powery is a certified Business Etiquette Consultant and Image Coach with over 16 years of experience providing clients with the tools they need for social and business success. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Couples Learn. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in healing childhood wounds and improving communication between couples.
How to Go Ghost Mode
Set clear goals so you know what you’re working towards. Going ghost without having goals to work towards can lead to purposelessness, as you’re cutting yourself off from the world without reason. So, set goals before going ghost. Try setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) to make achieving them more reasonable. If you want to improve your physical appearance, set a goal to go to the gym 3 times a week. If you want to improve your knowledge in a certain area, set a goal to study the subject 4 nights a week.
Create a daily routine. Having a daily routine makes sure you know what to do and when to do it, ensuring an easier day by helping avoid distractions. Daily routines can also help you meet your goals, stay organized, and avoid stressing about decisions, as everything is already laid out for you. This way, you’ll be able to focus on growth and improving in the areas that matter to you.
Balance socializing with personal growth. While avoiding those who don’t align with you can be great for personal growth, you’ll still need to socialize, as it’s important for maintaining your mental health and longevity. It can also contribute to personal growth, as it protects you from loneliness, helps reduce stress, and gets you out of your own head, which can boost your mood.
Be mindful about what kind of content you consume. Although going ghost involves pulling away from social media, the other content you consume can still affect your mood, how you feel about yourself, and your world outlook. Rather than doomscrolling on other websites, watch content that helps you grow, like self-help podcasts, audiobooks, and educational channels on YouTube, Twitch, and other video streaming platforms. When searching for self-help content, look for creators who are encouraging and spread positive messages. Be wary of self-help creators who encourage you to grow by any means without taking time for yourself or your mental health.
Start hitting the gym consistently. When you regularly hit the gym and start to see the results of your grind, it can boost your confidence. It can be as little as an hour commitment during 3-4 days of the week, if you hit the gym regularly and work on staying fit and active, you’ll improve your fitness and physical health, which is a key part of going ghost mode.
Review your life every week to see where you can improve. Life coach Michael Stern suggests using a simple self-assessment to give yourself a 1-10 score (1 being completely unfulfilled and 10 being completely fulfilled) on how you feel in different life categories (health, relationships, work, spirituality, etc.). Stern says, “This tool gives us a snapshot of how we’re doing in terms of leading an overall balanced and fulfilling life. This self-assessment helps you see which life categories you might want to focus your attention on, showing you where you need to grow.
Remove negative influences from your life. To remove negative influences from your life, Stern says to keep a trigger log to build self-awareness. “Once we’ve become aware of our patterns, we can work on reframing self-limiting beliefs and breaking self-limiting habits. By focusing on developing our self-esteem and cultivating our core values, we will naturally begin to let go of anything that does not serve us,” he continues.
Is ghost mode effective?
Ghost mode can be effective if you keep your approach balanced. Ghost mode involves cutting out social media in favor of self-improvement, so as long as you make time to socialize with friends, family, and loved ones, ghost mode can be effective. By focusing on improving in your preferred areas while still making time for those who matter to you, you’ll be able to balance self-growth and relationship growth.
Ghost mode can be unhealthy if you're self-isolating for long periods. While avoiding social interactions for the sake of self-improvement may help in the short term, excessively isolating yourself can do more harm than good. Social isolation can increase the risk of depression and anxiety, as well as the risk of dementia, suicidality and self-harm, and an earlier death, rendering the benefits of ghost mode ineffective.
When to Stop Going Ghost
If you get lonely and struggle to socialize, stop going ghost. Although you may be working towards personal growth, loneliness can begin to manifest when you aren’t seeing others. You may get nervous about attending social events, start avoiding them, struggle to socialize with others, and gradually change your daily routine for the worse, despite being on a journey of personal growth. Other signs that you should stop going ghost include: Increased Isolation: Isolation can be draining and harmful to your mental health, so it’s important to stay social. Avoidance of Accountability: Cutting yourself off from your social circle can also be a way to avoid accountability, intentionally or unintentionally, as you’re cutting off from those who can hold you accountable. Search for an Escape: Cutting yourself off from what you view as distractions can give you an escape from the pressure of those things. If you notice yourself going ghost to alleviate the pressure, reach out to a therapist or trusted loved one for help.
Other Tips for Personal Growth
Journal to offload your thoughts. Journaling gives you a private outlet for unloading any emotional baggage that you have been sitting on. It helps you prioritize what matters to you, track your mood and better control it, and practice positive self-talk while identifying harmful thoughts and behaviors. By unloading that emotional baggage, you can better manage your anxiety, reduce stress, and cope with depression.
Read books to gradually learn new ways to refine yourself. According to personal image & confidence coach Carolyn Powery, “Growth is an ongoing process.” Personal development books can help you reflect and refine certain aspects of yourself. “Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, actively seek out resources and practice what you learn,” Powery says. Personal development books won’t make you grow overnight, but they lay the groundwork for growth. Powery says, “With consistent effort, you’ll see progress.”
Go to therapy for a consistent emotional outlet. Therapists are trained to listen to you and help you find answers to your problems. They give you an outlet for crying, venting, talking, or thinking, all one-on-one and in private. There are many different types of therapy to choose from, too, from talk therapy to art therapy, so there’s flexibility in figuring out what works best for you. According to licensed clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD, “if you see a therapist, they could create a treatment plan with you,” a treatment plan that helps encourage personal growth.
Maintain your support network by regularly seeing your friends and family. Keeping your support network close ensures that you have people to reach out tol, especially in times of crisis. Social support also helps curb depression and anxiety, as you have a group of people who are there for you when you’re going through hard times, so keep a close knit group of friends or family members around.
Balance work and rest. While productivity is enticing, it’s important to get your rest, too. Getting enough sleep promotes heart health, reduces injury risk, increases your attention span, and boosts memory and learning, which can assist in productivity. So, rather than sacrificing sleep for productivity, work on balancing your rest and sleep. Set a bedtime that ensures you get your 7-9 hours a night. For example, if you want to wake up at 7 A.M., aim to be in bed by 10-12 P.M.
Other Self-Improvement Trends
Monk Mode Monk mode is a productivity hack where you carve out time to focus on a goal or task without any distractions. For example, if you’re practicing monk mode to build your content creation career and boost productivity, you’d dedicate 2 hours in the day to strictly creating content. The goal of monk mode is to get rid of distractions, boost productivity, and build discipline. Pros: It can boost productivity and improve focus and clarity. Cons: It can isolate you from others and lead to burnout in the long term. The name is inspired by the disciplined lives of monks, as they are free of interruptions and distractions due to their simple, monastic lifestyles.
Manifesting Manifesting is the practice of using positive thinking, gratitude, and willpower to attract and achieve your goals. By setting clear intentions, positively affirming yourself and your goals, and consistently working towards them, you can manifest them as truth. Manifestation involves trusting the process and believing in yourself, so don’t worry if it takes a second to achieve your goals. Pros: It can build positive thinking, confidence, and motivation. Cons: It can lead to overconfidence, unrealistic expectations, and disappointment when your goals don’t work out.
Sleepmaxxing Sleepmaxxing involves using different strategies to maximize your sleep and hit the optimal 7-9 hours of sleep a night consistently. These strategies include taping your mouth shut while sleeping, avoiding drinks two hours before bed, keeping your room dark and cold, and avoiding an alarm, among other things. Pros: It encourages healthy sleep habits and gives you a better chance of getting a full night’s rest. Cons: It can cause you to obsess over sleep and incorporate anxiety-inducing habits into your nighttime routine.
Cortisol Cocktails Also known as adrenal cocktails, cortisol cocktails are non-alcoholic drinks that typically mix orange juice, coconut water, and a hefty pinch of sea salt. Coconut milk, ginger, and cream of tartar, among other ingredients. The drink claims to fight adrenal fatigue and support adrenal health due to the combination of vitamin C, sodium, and potassium. Pros: They offer nutritional benefits, energy, and hydration. Cons: There’s no scientific evidence to support the claim that they actually help with adrenal replenishing.
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