How to Hide Alcohol

Hiding Alcohol On Your Person

Go classic with a hip flask. The easiest way to make a small amount of liquor portable and keep it in your pocket, bag, or purse is to transfer it into a hip flask. These usually hold about 8 oz. of liquid, are available in stainless steel and other materials, and are relatively cheap to buy. They're usually made to fit comfortably in the interior jacket pocket of a men's coat. To clean out a hip flask, rinse it with hot water and leave it open on the counter overnight to dry. Never put soap in a hip flask, because it can be very difficult to clean out thoroughly, and you might leave a soapy residue around for your next shot of scotch.

Paper-bag beers and pint bottles to keep them hidden in plain sight. If you want to sit in the park and enjoy an adult beverage, ask for a paper bag at the liquor store. In most places, it's illegal to drink in public, but "brown-bagging" a beverage is often enough to avoid giving police probable cause to search you, meaning–even though it's obvious what you've got in there–most police departments are happy to leave well enough alone and focus on other concerns as a departmental policy. Research the open container laws in your town to find out for sure. Please note that this method involves negotiating a legal gray area. It's illegal in the United States to consume alcohol in public, technically, and many small-town cops might take pleasure in inventing probable cause to search you if you appear drunk or disorderly. If you want to brown-bag, you'll do so at a risk.

Keep beer cans in a cozy. Novelty beer cozies can help keep cans of beer cold, and also make them look an awful lot like cans of soda. Like brown-bags, cozies big enough to obscure the brand label on the can will keep people off your back if you want to have a few cold ones without hassle. Make a soda can cozy to keep beers in. If you don't have a cozy, snip the top inch or so off of a soda can, slot your beer into it, and voila. It'll look like you're drinking Dr. Pepper.

Hide your alcohol in other bottles. One of the best ways to mask the presence of alcohol and hide it in plain sight is to pour it into an inconspicuous bottle, then carry it as if it were water, soda, or some other beverage. No one need be the wiser. Opaque Nalgene bottles, or other all-purpose water bottles are perfect for hiding booze. Put vodka, gin, and other clear spirits in water bottles. Make sure you leave the cap on at all times, when you're not drinking, to avoid the strong smell attracting attention. Hide wine in Nalgenes, in fruit-drink bottles, or Vitamin Water containers. These colored liquids should look similar to the color and texture of wine, making it pass an initial eye test.

Put alcohol in a Camelbak, or other portable "water" container. CamelBaks are backpacks designed for hiking and transporting water, and they're great for hiding booze on the down-low. These can be excellent for porting any kind of illicit liquid. They usually feature a long rubber straw clipped to the shoulder-strap, which you can use to drink from.

Consider the "wine rack." Similar to the Camelbak, the wine rack is so hidden it's under your clothes. A basic sports bra that features as much as 20 oz. of space to hide liquid, and an accompanying straw, the wine-rack is perfect if you don't mind drinking, uh, body-temperature booze from your own brassiere. They're commonly sold at places like Urban Outfitters and other novelty stores.

Hide booze in food bags. While a bottle of Jack Daniels will draw glares if you're in public, a bag of Doritos usually won't. If you're somewhere you can have a cooler and some food handy, use an empty bag of potato chips, or some other snack of choice, to cloak the bottle. Drape it over the liquor upside down, then cut a little hole in the bottom of the bag for the neck to fit through. No one walking by your picnic will be the wiser.

Mix your drink ahead of time. One of the best ways to hide alcohol in plain sight is mixing up a mixed drink like a rum and coke, or a whiskey and ginger, but doing it in the can or bottle of the soda you're using as a mixer. The color will be basically the same, the smell won't be as strong, and you'll be able to bring sodas with you into most places. This works just as well for fountain drinks. If you've got a Big Gulp going, spike it and enjoy your mixed drink without hassle.

Sneaking Booze into Dry Places

Get past the gate. If you want to sneak some alcohol into an event, or into a location that you're not supposed to have it, your first goal will be getting through the door. This will vary, depending on the venue itself, but there are a few tips to keep in mind to avoid getting caught before you can even get your drink on. Please note that sneaking alcohol into places where it is forbidden can get you kicked out of school or in trouble with the authorities. Do so at your own risk. To get past the security guard or gate at a dorm, hide booze in a backpack, a packing box, or at the bottom of a big bag of groceries. If you can, split up beers into multiple bags, to avoid that noticeable clinking and clanking. If you're in a big group, split up, and look grim and humorless, not as if you're about to party on the down-low. To get booze into the movie theatre, pick something that won't have a strong smell, mixing some liquor into a big bottle of soda or bringing some wine in other sorts of bottles, and sneaking them in purses. Cans or bottles of beer make noise challenges, as well as an awkward trash situation at the end, and straight liquor will have your neighbors crinkling their noses. To get alcohol into a festival or music venue and drink on the cheap, it's important to figure out the security beforehand. Often, bags and purses will be searched, and outside drinks will be confiscated, making the vodka water bottle a no-go. Most venues and festivals, however, won't frisk people or search people hard, not carrying bags, so it's a better idea to go the hip-flask route.

Act natural. If you're drinking somewhere you're not supposed to, the number one rule of the day is to chill out. No loud, thumping bass in the dorm room, no yelling while passing the flask down the aisle at the movie, and no conspicuous swigs from your illicit bottle snuck into the concert. Unless you want to get kicked out, you've got to treat it like business as usual. Ask super-drunk or loud-drunk friends to leave, and cut them off. Aside from being irritating, conspicuous drunks are much more likely to get you caught and attract attention. Make a quiet and calm affair, not a raucous party.

Use code words with your friends. If you're drinking in a friend's basement or dorm room and need to keep the boozy chatter to a minimum, invent code words to use so no wandering resident assistants, nosy neighbors, or little brothers will hear the buzzwords. Instead of shot, say you're going to take a button, or call a beer a biohazard. It'll be fun, and you'll keep it safe.

Take care of your trash. Sneaking booze into the dry zones is all fun and good until someone leaves a wizard staff of PBR cans out on the floor in plain sight. Whoops. Make sure to keep close tabs on all the garbage and dirty glasses that come from a night of drinking. Cups reeking of vodka are just as likely to get you caught as an empty bottle. If you're in the dorm, try to keep some black plastic garbage bags lying around for just the occasion. You won't have to worry about sneaking out bottles a few at a time if you've got an opaque bag to sneak them out in plain sight.

Try to drink at an odd hour. Sneaking a couple beers into the movie theatre, or having a beer bash in your dorm room will be a lot easier if you're doing it during matinee hours, or a Tuesday, as opposed to prime time on a Saturday night. Busy, packed theaters are much more likely to get you caught, and the RA is probably a lot more likely to be on alert during party hours, ready to crash yours. Stay ahead of the game and do it when they'll least expect it.

Go early to your event. Some events will have their door security start only when things start to get busier. Going early can have things go more smoothly.

Hiding Alcohol in Your House

Consider your options. Sometimes you might need to hide a quick bottle or two from some judgmental person, but sometimes it might be you who needs to open your eyes and look around. If you're taking steps to hide alcohol in your own home, this can be a sign of a serious drinking problem. If you're struggling with alcohol dependence, stop hiding it, admit you have a problem, and seek help immediately. Hiding alcohol won't help in the long run.

Hide alcohol in the toilet tank. A cool and out of the way hiding spot for a bottle or two of booze? Try the toilet tank. The water that comes into the back of the tank is clean, meaning you won't have to worry about germs, and as long as your toilet is running properly, most people are unlikely to open up the tank to take a look. You can tie the neck of the bottle to the ball joint in the toilet, to keep it from rattling around much. Make sure the toilet still functions properly, or you'll get caught more quickly.

Hide it behind books in your bookcase. If you've got a lot of books or DVDs lined up, slip a few bottles behind them, and pull the books to the front of the shelf to create enough space. It's good feng shui anyway.

Stuff bottles in your shoes. Winter boots, Uggs, and cowboy boots are perfectly shaped for slotting illicit bottles into. If you've got a lot of shoes, you can sneak a bottle or two into them and keep them at the back of your closet for safe-keeping. Just remember where you put them, so you won't jam your foot in accidentally.

Hide it at the bottom of your laundry. Most RAs will be unlikely to dig through your dirty laundry to look for contraband. If you need a good place to slip a bottle, try the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper. As long as you're the one who does your laundry, it's a solid hiding place.

Learn the habits of the person who's looking. If you need to hide booze in your house, try to get a read on the person doing the searching. If an RA comes knocking every Wednesday, don't worry about finding a hiding place, just get the booze out of there before Wednesday. Problem solved. If your mom cleans your room, start cleaning it yourself so you won't have to worry about being straightened up on.