When do I confirm before a date?
Confirm at the time you make the date. When first communicating with someone you’re interested in, confirm the date once the plan is made. Some people like to nail down all the details then, or wait until closer to the date itself. Try to assess which method the other person prefers and go with it.
Re-confirm 12-24 hours beforehand. Whoever initiated the date request can re-confirm the date 1 day before or earlier on the day of the date. If you prefer to know what your weekend will look like before the end of the day on Friday, it’s ok to check in earlier. Try not to re-confirm the date longer than 2 days beforehand unless necessary. If they confirm: It’s ok to send back a quick “ok,” or a smiley face or thumbs up emoji to acknowledge their confirmation. At that point, let the communication go until you meet up so you have something to look forward to. If they don’t confirm: Give them a few hours to respond. Then, send them a short follow-up text (or call if you feel comfortable doing so). If you don’t hear anything, it’s likely that they’re not interested anymore, so it may be time to move on.
Text Examples to Confirm a Date
“Hey, it looks like I'll definitely be ready for those cocktails tonight. Is 7 still good?” “Be sure to dress warm for ice skating tonight! See you at 8?????????” “See you later! I'll be the hottie in the red dress????.” “How's your day? Things have been pretty crazy over here! I’m so looking forward to grabbing those drinks tonight???? ????.” “I hope your day's going well! Are we still on for 7?” “Hey there, are you still up for grabbing a coffee tomorrow?” “Would you prefer to meet me later or would you like me to pick you up?” “I'm really looking forward to hanging out tonight. What time would you like to meet?” “Hello there- I’m just making sure we're still set for 9 tonight at the movies.” “I’ve been thinking about seeing you all week. Are we still confirmed for Friday’s dinner at 8?” "See you at the concert entrance at 5? I’ll be the one with the dorky band t-shirt on????.” "Are you still ok to meet me after work at the restaurant on the corner? I can’t wait!” "Quick check-in: I still have the pleasure of meeting you tonight at the show?” "So excited to see you later! Let me know if anything changes…” “Looking forward to tonight, let me know if anything comes up.” “Can’t wait to hit the town with you Friday evening. Can I pick you up at 7?” “We’re going to have a great time at the comedy show. Are we meeting there?”
Things to Keep in Mind When Confirming a Date
Be direct and specific. When confirming a date the day of or the day before, use details that make it easy for them to respond with a yes. Include the date and time you’re planning to meet, and the exact location, and ask them if that still works for them. Your politeness makes a great first impression and lets them know you’re aware of how to act on a first date. For example, you can say, “Hey, are we still on for dinner at Roberta’s this Friday at 8 pm?”
Stay positive. Even if you don’t hear back right away, don’t let negative thoughts overcome you. Everyone gets busy, and the other person may be at work or unable to look at their phone or answer a text or message. Always assume the best outcome, but if you don’t hear back from a 2nd follow-up text, don’t waste your time continually texting them. For example, you can say, “Hello there. I wish it was tomorrow already because I know I’ll be meeting you by then. Are we confirmed for dinner at 9?”
Keep a sense of humor. Your confirmation message can show off how great a sense of humor you have. Choosing your words carefully can help convey a lighthearted tone that helps put the other person at ease. For example, you can say, “Hi—this is the guy you said looked like a small-town version of that famous actor:) Are we still meeting tomorrow at 6 pm for drinks downtown?”
Be aware of the timing. If you confirm your date too early (over 2 days beforehand), you may give the other person too long a period to reconsider or flake out. If you wait until an hour or 2 before the date, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, because they’ll assume you don’t care. It’s also considerate to give them time to prepare for the date.
Show enthusiasm. It’s important to let the person know how excited you are to meet up for the first time. If they get a sense that your date with them is one of 10 in a week, they may not care enough to follow through. Show them how happy you are to get to know them in person. For example, you can say, “I can’t wait to finally meet you! Are you still free for tomorrow night?”
Keep your date informed. Plans change, and things come up. It’s ok if you have to re-adjust your date to a different location, time of day, or reschedule. If you do have to set a new date, be sure to apologize and offer a reason why you’re postponing. Make a direct plan for the rescheduled date, so they know you’re not just trying to cancel altogether. For example, you could say, “I’m so sorry—my work is going to keep me late tonight to finish a big project, so, unfortunately, I have to reschedule our date. Are you free next Saturday for the same plan we originally had?”
Don’t over-communicate. Once you’ve confirmed the date and the other person confirms back, leave it at that so they can concentrate on getting ready for the date. If you’re the one they send the confirmation text to, don’t answer them in the same minute. You can wait anywhere from a few minutes to an hour to confirm back to them. Don’t wait longer than that on purpose, because they might get the idea that you’ve lost interest or are ghosting them.
Don’t panic if they choose to reschedule. If they have issues with keeping the date, allow them some time to reschedule or make new plans. It’s ok to send a follow-up text, but don’t chase them with multiple messages. Stay positive and give it a few days. If you don’t hear back from your follow-up text, let them make the next move. If they don’t communicate any further, brush it off and move on.
Confirming a Date FAQs
When should you confirm a relationship? It’s difficult to know how long you should date before committing to a relationship. Statistics often show that women are more willing to date, while men consider themselves in a relationship after about 6 dates. This figure isn’t the same for everyone; some believe that it takes 1-3 months to really know if you’re in a relationship or not. If you’re not sure, it’s best to have a conversation with the person you’re dating to understand how they feel and where they’re at.
How do you confirm if it's a date? You’ll know you’re going on a date if the other person puts forth an effort to make plans with you. It’s also important to confirm that you’re meeting one-on-one, and not as part of a group. Your conversation before making plans for a date will feel romantic, and the activity you’re engaging in (like dinner or a movie), feels like a date.
What does "confirmed date" mean? A confirmed date is one you both agreed upon initially and have now reconfirmed on the day of or the day beforehand. It also means that the plans you made aren’t going to change unless someone has to cancel plans over text unexpectedly. After re-confirming, you can rely on the fact that you’re going to meet up on the agreed-upon day and time.
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