Bigg Boss nearly killed me: Anupama

Mumbai: Model-turned-actress Anupama Varma calls her departure from Sony's game show Bigg Boss the happiest eviction ever. "I desperately wanted to come out. Of course I was missing Aryan (Vaid) and wanted to be with him. But it wasn't his absence that made me want to run away. The ambience in there was a killer," Anupama says.

After Aryan was voted out, it became difficult for Anupama to survive because rival groups had formed and she was not part of any of them.

"When Rakhi Sawant came back to Karjat dressed like Santa Claus, I don't know what image she projected. But she's a good-hearted girl and she really loves me. As Santa she gave chocolates to others. I was the only one who got a teddy bear. Another very good human being was Bobby Darling. I bawled like a baby when Bobby left."

Anupama says initially she was weary of Rakhi and Kashmira.

"Funny, but the two girls I feared the most, Rakhi and Kashmira, turned out to be friends. And Carol (Gracias), who I thought was my friend, made me miserable.

"I don't know what her problem was. She's a ramp girl while I'm a photo-model so there shouldn't be any rivalry. I think she didn't like my being friendly with Ravi Kishan," she said.

Anupama was rankled by the attitude of Carol and TV actress Rupali Ganguly.

"From what Deepak explained to me they were intimidated by me. In fact, Rupali admitted as much on the show. But why? And Carol? I don't know what her problem was. I felt so isolated. Being bitchy and mean doesn't come naturally to me. No one from outside can understand what I had to go through.

"Two days ago I finally cracked up. My mother had warned me I wouldn't be able to survive for even two days if I came across even one bitchy girl. I came across two. But on the plus side, I was not nominated for eviction till now whereas others like Rupali and Carol have been repeatedly nominated. So, as far as I'm concerned I'm a winner."

Anupama says she missed friend and companion Aryan Vaid after he was voted out of the show.

"I had a full life waiting for me outside. But Aryan wasn't running away anywhere. I wasn't seeking an eviction to run away to my life outside. I was genuinely distressed in there. Of course, Aryan's absence made me realise how much he mattered to me. He was like an angel whom god had sent to take care of me in that strange place."

Anupama admits her fiercely private nature was threatened by the constant camera attention.

"I was the wrong person in the right place. I'm the kind of person who always shies away from controversies and link-ups. Every morning I'd pray that Aryan wouldn't be evicted. When he did leave I consoled myself saying god must have a plan. In that one month in Karjat I got to know as much about Aryan as I'd have in six months."

So when are the two getting married?

"It's too early to say. Right now I'm too disoriented. That I'm close to him is undeniable. Right now I need to get back to the normal world,” said Anupama.