Are You A People Pleaser? Try Saying No With These 5 Tips

If you tend to be a people-pleaser, these two letters—N.O.—are perhaps the hardest for you to say. Sometimes it’s out of a need for approval or a need to avoid disappointing someone. You’re not alone if this is a challenge for you. Many well-known celebrities have acknowledged that they have been people-pleasers.

Beyoncé said in her latest Renaissance documentary that she was a people-pleaser. Furthermore, a number of celebrities, like Will Smith, Jennifer Lawrence, Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, and others, have acknowledged that they have occasionally been people-pleasers. Regardless of the reason, having the ability to say no is crucial for your own health and well-being.

But how do you do that?

1. First of all, be direct in your response rather than fumbling with maybes and maybe-nots. Sayings like “maybe later” or “some other time” should be taken literally. If you respond incoherently, the other person could ask you the same question later.
2. Saying no doesn’t have to be harsh. Until you learn how to express it gently, you can begin by explaining things briefly. Remember that you are not expected to provide an in-depth explanation including all the specifics. Instead of making up a long, convoluted explanation for your no, just be kind and straightforward.
3. One of the easiest and most smart ways to say no is to avoid saying yes straight away. When requests come your way, you may have developed the habit of just agreeing. In order to avoid being rude, attempt to pause between a request and your response.
4. Begin with lower-stakes nos. For example, if you don’t want extra cheese on your pizza, say no. In this instance, agreeing would appease the other party and increase your bill. However, the exchange isn’t the same as a family member or coworker requesting one more favour.
5. If you have difficulty saying no to someone or something, saying no in minimal instances might lead to saying no in more difficult circumstances. If you learn that it’s okay to say no to cooking for a partner, friend or family someday, and you see how they’re just fine doing it themselves, you’ll probably find it easier to say no to your manager if their workload overburdens you.

Not because being successful or staying true to who you are implies being cold or insensitive towards other people. However, saying yes to anyone and everything leaves little room for the things that really matter in life, such as family, friends, hobbies, work, and enjoyment.