The Best Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
Sign up for a class. Attending a workshop or class can help you meet new people with similar interests! May you join a cooking class to fulfill your Hell’s Kitchen fantasies, or perhaps you sign up for a dance class to please your inner child. Keep social event specialist Kevin Wang’s advice in mind: “Being active and finding hobbies and events that are social in nature will help you meet new people by sheer exposure. Finding common ground through interests and activities will then help you solidify the bond with new friends.”
Join a gym. Why not build those muscles while making new friends? If you’re all about fitness or want to break into the lifestyle, consider joining a gym. Participate in classes and start going at a set time. You’ll likely find that more than one face will become familiar! EXPERT TIP Janice Tieperman Janice Tieperman wikiHow Staff Writer Janice is a professional and creative writer who has worked at wikiHow since 2019. With both a B.A. and M.A. in English from East Stroudsburg University, she has a passion for writing a wide variety of content for anyone and everyone. In her free time, you can find her working on a new crochet pattern, listening to true crime podcasts, or tackling a new creative writing project. Janice Tieperman Janice Tieperman wikiHow Staff Writer Editor perspective: “Give rock climbing a try. At rock gyms, you'll meet people with varying levels of experience, including beginners. It's easy to strike up a conversation and ask how long they've been climbing, or discuss the best way to approach a bouldering route.”
Volunteer in your local area. Helping others is a great way to meet new people and give back to your community. Plus, the habit of volunteering can help you engage with different types of people and improve social skills. Simply search “volunteer opportunities near me” to find a project to dedicate some time to.
Join a book club. If you love reading, see if your local library or community has a book club you can join. This is a great way to meet people of all ages and lifestyles with a similar interest—books! You may even be able to find a group on social media.
Go to community events. Doing things in your local area can help you meet people your age who live right next door! See if your town has any festivals, farmer’s markets, or community events going on. Then, don’t hesitate to talk to anyone who seems interesting—you never know what connections you’ll make. As Wang explains, “The most important thing to meeting new people is to take initiative and put yourself out there.”
Join a recreational league. Playing sports isn’t just for kids and the pros—you can do it too! As Wang suggests, being a part of a team is a great way to connect with people quickly. After all, you must learn to work together to reach a common goal. Check with your local community center or gym to see if any recreational leagues are happening in your area.
Go somewhere new. Take a trip to someplace new that interests you. Maybe that’s a museum, concert, or sporting event. Then, challenge yourself to talk to at least one person (like someone sitting next to you). Who knows? You may just find a friend with similar interests! Nervous to go somewhere by yourself? Ask an old friend or partner to come with you (just make sure they’re in on the challenge, too.)
Connect through social media. Social media groups are a great way to meet like-minded people of your age with similar interests. Join a Facebook group or Discord chat to engage with others about things you like. Who knows? An online connection can quickly transform into an in-person friendship! Employee relations expert Jeffrey Fermin recommends “websites like Meetup, forums related to specific hobbies, and Facebook groups” to connect with people with “shared values and beliefs.” Remember to be safe when connecting with others online! If you decide to meet in person, schedule a video chat beforehand, tell a friend where you’re going, and meet in a public place.
Open up with coworkers. Sometimes, the bestest friends are hiding right under your nose! Turn your coworkers into friends by participating in work social events, talking about your life outside of work, and inviting them to casual outings.
Connect with friends of friends. Ask your current besties to introduce you to their other friend circles. Go to parties and try to hang out with others in large groups. This is an excellent way to meet new people with similar connections (especially if you’re a bit shy—you’ll know at least one person there). As Fermin reiterates, “Your friends and family might already know someone who shares your values. Attend social gatherings, parties, or events where they introduce you to their circle. You never know who you might resonate with.”
Why is it hard for adults to make friends?
Busy schedules and responsibilities can make it harder to make friends. When you’re a kid, all you have to worry about is what’s for lunch in the cafeteria and memorizing your best friend's handshake. Nowadays, you’ve got bills to pay, a job to go to, and maybe even kids of your own to feed. The time commitments you have as an adult can make it more challenging to make friends. After all, maintaining friendships is like a full-time job, and you already have one of those! But even though it may be harder, it’s not impossible. Put meetings and check-ins with friends on your calendar to coordinate your schedule and still make time for them.
A fear of rejection can make it difficult to make friends. As an adult, you’ve likely had your fair share of rejections. Past friendships, relationships, trials, and other tribulations have tested your courage. And even if you came out stronger, you may still hesitate to trust others. The fear of being rejected may cause you to close up and become a bit of a hermit—know that you’re not alone. Challenge your fear by trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone. If you’re struggling to overcome your fear, reach out for help. Talk to a therapist to better understand your past and learn more about yourself.
How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult
Communicate your boundaries. Don’t hesitate to say when something’s working and isn’t working. As an adult, you’ve been through your fair share of friendships before—use what you’ve learned from them to maintain a healthy friendship. Boundaries can look like not making plans after 9 PM on weekdays, saying you’re unavailable when you’re unwell, or not sharing everything about your personal life.
Make time to squeeze in a chat. Do your best to make time for a newfound friend. For friendships to last, both parties need to feel like they’re supported and valued. So, turn your lunch break into a friendship date or give them a quick phone call on the way home from work. Schedule a time to connect with them to show that you truly care. Now, this doesn’t mean you should neglect your needs. Be aware of your own boundaries, but also make sure to check in with new pals.
Show up when it matters. It’s okay to be the first one to reach out. If someone’s going through a tough time or you’ve disconnected along the way, send them a text or sweet message. Even a simple gesture can help keep the friendship alive. After all, no one wants to feel alone. For instance, send them flowers if they’ve lost a loved one. If they’re sick, offer to grab their groceries for them.
Know that friendships can change. Friendships don’t last forever, and that’s okay. People are forever evolving, which means you and your friendships constantly change. View friendships as a chapter in the story of your life—they may be present for one and not the other. Coming to terms with this can help you stay present in the moment and value your friend even more.
Why is making friends important?
Making friends is important because friendship improves your overall health. Believe it or not, having friends can impact your physical and mental health. Meaningful connections help you feel wanted, welcomed, and supported, and as an adult, you need that more than ever. Take a look at these surprising benefits to friendship: Combats loneliness and social isolation Improves self-esteem Helps you live longer Relieves stress Healthy heart health Increases productivity
How can you make friends as a parent?
If you’re a parent, take advantage of your child’s social outings. Get buddy-buddy with your child’s friend’s parents, and make yourself known at school or daycare functions. When setting up a playdate for your child, set one up for yourself too! While the kids play, chit-chat with the other parents. Let your child’s social life help fuel yours. Think of making new friends like dating. Ask get-to-know-you questions to see if you can vibe with anyone. Talk about your favorite musicians, movies, foods, and hobbies.
People Share Their Experience
“I was able to meet new people doing activities I enjoyed after college.” “After college, I had a really hard time making friends. All of my friends had moved away—we had all gone in different directions to pursue our careers. Sure, we were able to connect over the phone, but it wasn’t the same as being around them in person. So, I started branching out into the community. I participated in library events, attended a few cycling classes, and even starred in a few community theater productions. I met a lot of people by doing things I enjoyed.” - Staff Writer Aly R. Her advice: “Don’t be afraid to do things on your own and step out of your comfort zone socially. Being in a group setting with people doing or talking about a specific thing can help you let loose and make new friends. Plus, by talking to others, I was also able to find out about more social activities and events happening in the area—a chance to meet even more people!”
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