How to Stop Crying when Angry

Using Mental Approaches

Understand that crying is a healthy emotional response. Crying is normal, and people cry for many reasons. Some people cry out of fear, frustration, or anger. Others cry from shock, feeling overwhelmed, or out of empathy for others. If you cry when you are angry, it’s important to recognize there is nothing wrong with you!

Use mental grounding techniques to calm your emotions. Grounding yourself in the present moment may help you calm the emotions that are causing you to cry. When you're grounded in the moment, it's easier to cope with inconveniences and stresses that might otherwise cause you to react. Luckily, you can use grounding techniques without anyone noticing. Here are some ways to ground yourself: Count backwards from 50 using only even numbers. Say the alphabet backwards in your head. Try to remember all of the words to your favorite happy song. Do a breathing exercise where you count to 10 on your inhale, then hold for 10. Exhale for a count of 10, and repeat as needed. Engage your senses while drinking a hot mug of tea or coffee. Notice the heat from the cup, the smell of the tea or coffee, the taste of the drink, the color of the tea or coffee, and the sounds around you. Notice everything blue in your environment.

Acknowledge how you are feeling without judging yourself. If you can go somewhere private and speak aloud, do so. Notice the emotions you're feeling and the physical reaction you're having in your body. Don't try to stop feeling this way, and don't try to explain yourself. Just focus on naming the feelings. For instance, you might say this: "I feel angry right now. My stomach is churning, my throat feels tight, and my muscles feel tensed. I feel like I need to cry it out so I can relax again."

Talk about your anger with the people involved in the situation. When we are angry, it’s often difficult to express ourselves through words. This can result in tears, and prevent you from having a productive conversation about the issues making you mad. When you get angry, communicate directly with the other person about your anger. Tell the other person why you are angry, and avoid blaming them for your anger. Try saying, “I feel very angry right now. I would like to talk about why I’m angry without blaming one another.” You could also say, “This situation is causing me to feel very angry. Can we have a constructive conversation about what happened?”

Think about something funny to curb your tears. Replacing negative, angry thoughts with humorous ones can help stop the flow of tears when you’re feeling angry. Conjure up an image or memory in your mind that makes you want to laugh out loud. Focus on this imagery or situation to curb your tears. Try thinking about the funniest moment you can remember in your life. Replay the series of events in your mind. Allow yourself to laugh out loud if it will help curb your tears. Think about a funny television show or movie you saw recently. Tell yourself a joke that you find hilarious.

Allow positive thoughts to take center stage when you feel overwhelmed. When you are angry and feel like you are on the verge of tears, try replacing your angry feelings with positive, happier thoughts. This can help curb the onslaught of tears, and allow you to remove yourself from the situation mentally. Think about the things in your life that make you feel grateful, such as being healthy, having a job, or your friends and family. Allow yourself to think about something you’re really looking forward to, such as an upcoming concert, home-cooked meal, or vacation you are planning.

Reflect on your anger through writing. While you might not have a journal or notebook handy every time you feel angry tears erupting, you can write about your feelings after the fact. Reflecting on why you are angry and ways you can stop crying while angry can help you achieve your goals. Try writing down a few thoughts regarding your anger when you feel the tears beginning. Write about your feelings after an episode of angry crying to help you process your emotions. Make a list of the things that anger you about a particular situation. Beside each item write about why each things causes you to feel anger.

Talk to a professional if this is a recurrent issue. Seeking professional help can aid you in controlling your anger and changing the ways in which you react. Try making an appointment with a mental health professional like a counselor or therapist. They can help you work through your anger by modifying your behavior, identifying your triggers, and helping you practice effective ways of coping with anger. Make sure you contact your health insurance provider to determine what types of services are covered by your insurance plan. If you are a student, try talking to your school counselor or seek services at a university counseling center. These services are often free or low cost.

Using Physical Approaches to Stop Crying

Walk away from the situation. Being in the middle of an anger-inducing situation can cause tears and frustration, fueling your anger and limiting your ability to deal with the issues at hand. If you begin to cry out of anger, and are in a position to change your surroundings, simply walk away. Removing yourself from the situation can give you the time and space you need to control your tears. Try saying, “I am feeling very angry right now and need to remove myself from this situation.” You could also say, “I need to go for a walk. I’ll be gone for 15 minutes and we can discuss this issue when I return.”

Breathe deeply. A great way to relax, regain control, and stop crying while angry is through breathing. A series of deep breaths can calm you, while the shallow breathing common during an episode of anger can actually cause more anxiety and angry feelings. Try taking a slow, deep breath through your nose, allowing your stomach to expand as you inhale. Exhale fully and repeat until you feel calm. Try taking at least 5 deep breaths, exhaling fully between each breath. Try inhaling for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds.

Relax the muscles in your face. Relaxing your facial muscles can help calm your mind, stopping tears in their tracks. For example, if your eyebrow muscles are tense or furrowed, you are more likely to feel anger and experience a bout of crying. Try relaxing the lower middle part of your forehead, while breathing deeply. You can also try relaxing your jaw by touching the tip of your tongue to the back of your front teeth. This will help you unclench your jaw and relax your facial muscles. If it feels hard to relax your muscles, try progressive muscle relaxation. Intentionally tense your muscles, then relax them.

Look up. If you find yourself angry with tears forming, a good way to help curb the crying is by looking up. This method will allow the tears to pool in the bottom of your eye, instead of running down your cheeks. The act of looking up can help you ground yourself while also curbing the flow of tears. Try breathing deeply while looking up to add an element of relaxation to the action.

Blink rapidly to clear away the first tears. Blinking is a powerful tool you can employ to fight angry crying. When you first begin to cry, try blinking rapidly to clear away the initial tears. You can use this method in combination with the other ideas listed above to bring your crying to a close. Try looking up while blinking rapidly. Breathe deeply while blinking rapidly to help calm yourself while curbing the tears.

Don’t blink if you feel tears forming. Another way to use your eyelids to your advantage is by avoiding blinking. If you feel like you might cry, don’t blink! Open your eyes wide and allow the air to dry out any tears that may have formed. Try looking up while avoiding blinking.

Engage in exercise to cool down. Exercise can help you stop crying. It’s also a great way to release your anger, which can help you calm down and communicate effectively with those involved in the anger-inducing situation. Try going for a walk, hitting up a yoga class, going on a run, or having a dance party in your living room. If you find yourself crying while exercising, let the tears flow! This can help you fully process your anger.