- Complimenting her, teasing her, and showing her that you’re listening to her can be great ways to befriend and attract the girl you like.
- Casually ask for her contact info by suggesting that the two of you go to a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or doing an activity you both would love.
- Set up a time to hang out while taking her suggestions and plans into account. Relax, have fun, and get to know her while you're out together.
Getting a Girl to Like You
Be independent and enjoy life to the fullest. One of the best ways to attract girls is to develop your own hobbies and interests. Spend time with new people, travel, try a new activity, or develop one of your passions. Live life and find happiness all around you—she'll appreciate your confidence and commitment to bettering yourself. If you focus on yourself, it may cause girls to notice you more, and attract the right ones to you.
Practice good hygiene. Smelling great can make you more attractive to the women around you. Here are some ways to fight off body odor and smell incredible: Take a bath or shower daily and clean your skin and hair. Regularly wash your clothing, and wear clean, loose-fitting clothes made of cotton or moisture-wicking fabric every day. Eat a healthy, nutritious diet full of fresh fruits and vegetables to make you smell more attractive and feel better.
Start a conversation with her. Try not to think so much about dating in the initial stages—instead, focus on getting to know her better to find common interests and see if you like hanging out with her. Asking a question can be a great conversation starter that invites her to continue talking. Here are some examples you can use to get the ball rolling: “Have you seen the new WonderMan movie? I did too, what did you think about it? “Have you heard of this band before?” “I saw you got a new puppy on social media. He’s so cute! What’s his name?” “Have you tried the food here? Is it good?” In general, it can be better to be positive than to say something negative. For example, if you two are at a party or dance, instead of talking about how boring the event is, try commenting on how beautiful the lights are or how great the view is.
Ask about her interests and passions. When she talks about things that she loves, smile and ask follow-up questions to show that you’d like to hear more. Keep digging deeper—she’ll know that you’re interested and want to talk more about herself. Here are some getting-to-know-you questions you could ask in your conversations: “Where would you go on your dream vacation?” “What’s your favorite class in school? Why?” “What’s your favorite book and why?” “What was your dream job when you were younger?” “If you could travel back in time, where and when would you go?” “If you had to choose one song to describe your life, what would it be?” If you’re not actually interested in what she’s speaking about, that may be a sign that you two aren’t compatible.
Show that you’re listening intently to her. Listening can be the most important thing you can do to be courteous and considerate to a girl. Actively listening can make her feel seen and heard—restate what she says and encourage her to keep talking with your body language. Here are more ways to make her feel validated and show her you’re taking her words seriously: Make eye contact and smile. Use mild conversation fillers and sounds like “Mhmm,” “Really?” and “Right” to help encourage her to keep talking. Try not to fidget with your hands or play with your clothes. These little distractions can make her think that you're not interested in the conversation. Repeat what she said back to her to send the message that you understand her. For example, you could say, “So, what happened after Sarah called you back?” Ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing. Asking questions that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no” can prove that you’re not only listening but that you’d like to hear more about whatever she’s currently talking about.
Compliment her. Tell her that you like her necklace or her new haircut, or that you dig her cool sense of humor. But whatever you say, make sure you really mean it; no one wants to receive a false compliment. Be specific, speak from the heart, and tell her what exactly what it is that makes her special to you. While physical compliments can certainly work, many women prefer nonphysical compliments, such as about aspects of her personality you appreciate.
Tease her in a friendly way. Being playful with the girl you like can be a great way to make her laugh, keep things entertaining, and show that you’re confident in yourself. Just make sure you smile slightly so that she knows you’re joking. Here are a few great ways that you can use to tease that special someone: Playfully mock her by mimicking the way she says a certain word or repeating words back to her while smiling lightly. Give her a funny nickname. If you feel confident and far enough in your relationship, try accusing her of flirting with you. This can also be a great way to see how she reacts to the idea of dating.
Gently touch her in conversation. Body language can be a powerful tool to show the girl you like how you feel. One of the best ways is to make an excuse to subtly touch her, even when it’s not necessary. You could emphasize something by touching her arm or her hand, tap or touch her shoulder to point something out, or high-five when you do something well together as a team. Pay attention to her body language to make sure that she’s okay with the two of you touching. If she constantly pulls away or avoids making physical contact, you may want to back off a little until she feels more confident and comfortable.
Be vulnerable. Although it can be scary to put yourself out there and open up to someone else, relationships need vulnerability to grow and thrive. Start small and share something you don’t tell a lot of people. Then, as your relationship deepens, share your thoughts, beliefs, values, and feelings with her. If you're both comfortable being alone, and just enjoy being with each other, you might set yourself up for a more successful and healthy bond.
Focus on having fun and enjoying her company. If you already like her as a person, deepening your friendship should feel rewarding too. It might also be easier to be friends with her, just in case things don't work out. Try to be comfortable remaining friends if she doesn't want to date. If you have mutual friends with her already, make sure that you don't allow their opinions to inform your ideas about the relationship. There's no way that they can understand exactly what you're going through. Even if their opinions are valid, you and her will know best if things are starting to work. Mark Manson, Dating Coach A man comfortable with himself, living an enriching lifestyle, automatically attracts people, provides value, influences the world by being himself, without manipulating others. People gravitate to him. He gets what he wants as he doesn't want anything; he simply lives his purpose. This is attractive.
Asking Her Out and Going on a Date
Find an opening to ask for her contact info. At some point during your conversation, you might have spoken about a shared interest that you can weave into asking for her contact information. Here are a couple of ways you can smoothly ask for her social media information or phone number: Tell her you’ll share a song that you’ve spoken about with her on Instagram. Suggest that you go together to a restaurant that you enjoy, and use that open-ended plan to get her phone number. Say you want to send a great TikTok you’ve told her about and continue the conversation. Use your shared interests to ask her out. Suggest that you go to a particular sports team’s game or watch one of your favorite television shows together. You can also be totally transparent and just ask for her number, saying that you’d love to meet up for coffee or dinner. She might really appreciate your directness.
Speak with confidence. When you ask her out, stand tall, make eye contact with her, speak clearly, and avoid filling the silence with nervous jokes or chatter. Practice asking her out in the mirror ahead of time so you know exactly what to say when the time comes. Take deep breaths before starting the conversation. You’ve got this! There's a difference between being confident and assuming that she's going to say yes. Try not to put on any extra swagger—the honesty of your directness can be enough to bolster your chances. There are many reasons why a girl may not accept your offer to go on a date with her. Don’t take it too personally if she's not interested—you might not have done anything wrong. Maybe she’s just not interested in dating right now, or maybe she’s already seeing another person.
Figure out a time and a place to have the date. If she’s given you her contact information, try not to let it settle for too long—reach out to her later that day or later that morning to figure out a plan. If you’re feeling nervous, warm up the conversation by texting them something funny that happened, a meme you saw, or just start with a simple “Hey!” and ask her when she’s available. “Hey! I was wondering if you were free this Saturday night? I’d like to hang out just the two of us and check out the new art installation downtown.” “I’d love to hang out together! I was wondering if you’d like to go mini-golfing with me on Friday at around 8:00 pm?” “Hey Shania! Are you free tomorrow at 7:00 pm? There’s this new Italian restaurant down the street I’ve been meaning to try, would you be interested in joining me?” Because you've already made a move toward a real, in-person date, try not to waste too much time and energy being clever over text. Instead, be simple and direct—that way, you can get some quality face-to-face time. Try not to think too hard about the science of texting or instant messaging. Just because she hasn’t responded in two hours doesn’t mean she’s uninterested—she might be a bit nervous about the date too, and maybe she also doesn't know exactly what to say.
Be flexible with your expectations. If you have strict preconceptions about how your date will go, then you may end up being disappointed. If she doesn’t have time for dinner and a movie, just having dinner could be just as fun. Accommodate her suggestions into your plans—this could show that you’re more interested in spending time with her than having the perfect date. If the girl isn’t positive about her weekend plans, and she tells you that she needs to figure out her schedule, give her time to do so. By giving you her contact information, she’s already agreed to have further contact—don't be frustrated by the little troubles of planning the date itself. She’s interested in seeing you, so when you both work out the details, you’ll both be happy to spend quality time together.
Set up your date to do an activity she loves. Incorporating the things she enjoys and the activities that light her up inside into a date is one of the best ways to impress a girl you are interested in. In doing so, you show you care about what she has to say and plan a date you know will make her happy. For example: If she loves food, visit a food hall or go to an area with a few different restaurants and hop around—go to one for an appetizer, one for the main course, and another for dessert. Does she love to volunteer? Pick a cause she’s passionate about and set up a time to make a difference in your community. If she loves to laugh, try going to a local comedy show or an open mic night. Did she tell you she loves looking up at the night sky? Pack a picnic and go stargazing.
Use your body language to flirt with her during the date. Take a deep breath and stand up tall before you go in so you can look confident and engaged. When you sit down at the restaurant or wherever you’re going on your date, turn your shoulders so your whole body is facing her. Make sure to make eye contact throughout the date to flirt with her and show you’re fully present in the moment. You can also go in for a light touch on the leg or the arm, which can be a great way to be flirty. Watch her body language to make sure she’s okay with it—you can always ask for consent first, just in case. If you’re feeling nervous during your date, try talking about something you’re passionate about and stay present. That enthusiasm can shine through and help you feel more confident.
Keep the conversation light and positive while you’re on your date. Listen to and focus on what she’s saying, and ride the flow of the conversation. Asking open-ended questions can be a great way to open up the conversation and keep it going. Here are some non-yes-or-no questions you can ask to keep things interesting on your date: “What’s the best present you ever gave someone?” “What were you like as a kid?” “What did you do last weekend?” “What do you think of social media?” “What’s on your bucket list?” “If aliens exist, what do you think they’d look like?” “If you could become an expert in any subject, what would you choose?”
Kiss her when you feel ready and the timing is right. If you can feel the sparks flying between you, and you feel comfortable doing so, you might want to try kissing her for the first time. Choose a private time at the end of the date, like after you walked her home or when the two of you are saying goodbye. Asking her if she’d like to kiss you can be a great way to show her you respect her and care about her feelings. Here are some great ways you can ask to kiss her: “Can I kiss you?” “I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?” “Would you mind if I kissed you right now?”
Keep in touch between dates. Try to talk to her between dates to keep the good vibes going. Send her funny videos or interesting articles you’ve seen, call her or video chat with her at night or during weekends, and arrange a time to hang out that isn’t necessarily formal. Here are some things you could do together to keep the spark alive: Check in with her every day and support her in both good and bad times. Ask her how she’s doing, if there’s anything she’s worried about, and what she has planned for the week.
Make the relationship exclusive when you're both ready. If your relationship is going well, you might want to ask her if she’d like to take the relationship to the next level. On a date, tell her how much she means to you and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. You can also ask her what you are to each other, or ask her where she wants the relationship to go in the future. Remember that you deserve someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. “I like you a lot, would you be my girlfriend?” “I think it’s time we take our relationship to the next level—will you be my girlfriend?” “We’ve got really good chemistry, and I think we’d be perfect for each other. Would you like to make our relationship exclusive?” “You make me feel incredible and I can’t imagine life without you. Can I be your partner?” “I really want to be your partner. What do you think?” If you’re going to a family event with her, it can be better to make sure you’re exclusive first so that you two can establish that you won’t see other people in the future.
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