- A generational curse is a repeating pattern of misfortune that affects a parent as well as their children, and beyond.
- Types of generational curses include disobedience, or when a child doesn’t listen to a parent, and violence, or when someone intentionally hurts another person.
- Idolatry and bad habit curses both involve putting too much attention on things other than God. Illness is a hereditary misfortune that spans generations.
What is a generational curse?
A generational curse is a repeating pattern of misfortune in a family. “Generational curse” is a common term for any kind of misfortune or tragedy that’s present in multiple generations of a family, such as illnesses, certain negative behaviors, or recurring outside events. The term is popular in many Christian circles, and some Christians point to Exodus 20:5 as evidence for these curses. Exodus 20:5 reads, “You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” Some Christians believe that generational curses are punishment for particular sins, like idolatry, adultery, or other trespasses. Some also say that there are two primary kinds of curses: those that are passed down from a previous generation, and new curses inflicted by a current generation.
Types of Generational Curses
Disobedience This is a curse thought to be inflicted by God himself as a result of the fall of man in Genesis. Genesis 3: 17 states, “Cursed is the ground because of you.” Some believe that Adam and Eve’s first disobedience in eating the forbidden fruit caused all children to rebel against their parents, as the first humans rebelled against God. This is said to be the first curse, and all other curses come from it. As a result, many families are thrown into disarray because of conflicting beliefs or convictions, rather than living in harmony. Signs: Unruly children, emotionally distant parents or children, family ruptures, negative feelings toward family members, constant disagreements Solutions: Improve your family life by spending quality time with them, like going on a vacation or to church together. Try to understand that each member of the family is an individual with their own wants and needs.
Violence Violence is a curse that’s caused by our fellow man, and is said to originate in Genesis 9:25, when Noah curses his son Canaan for mocking him. Thus, it’s said that man can inflict curses upon his fellow man, in the form of violence. That violence might be physical or emotional—abuse, manipulation, unkind words, negative thoughts, etc.—but its effects are lasting and can span generations. It’s one of the most common curses, and affects more than just the family unit, but also society as a whole. Signs: Physical or emotional aggression, chronic frustration, resentment toward family members, frequent insults or arguments Solutions: The cure for violence is often improving your own empathy to better understand your neighbor, which prevents you from doing unkind things to them. The Bible supports this empathy cure. John 15:12 says, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you,” and 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”
Idolatry Exodus 20:2-3 says, “I am the Lord your God… You shall have no other Gods before me.” The curse of idolatry, then, is when a person idolizes something other than God, which leads to spiritual neglect, as well as the neglect of their children or other family. This idol might be wealth, fame, lust, or anything else that takes their attention away from their duty as a parent and a Christian. Signs: Lack of prayer, loss of faith, neglecting familial relationships, spending large amounts of money on luxuries, easily distracted when praying Solutions: Diligent prayer can keep your focus on God, and prevents you from turning to idols in his place. Then, spend more time with your children, or spend time with your parents in order to bring the generations closer together and ward away false idols.
Bad habits This is also known as the curse of the ill harvest. Galatians 6:7 says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” In the context of generational curses, this might refer to the habits we build in order to live good and faithful lives. Sowing bad habits like adultery, sloth, or envy only causes one to reap a destructive harvest and weathered morals. Those morals rub off on one’s children, and they in turn teach their own children those bad habits. Signs: Destructive tendencies like laziness or gluttony, warped morals, tendency to sin rather than turn toward God, difficulty changing behavior, reluctance to seek forgiveness Solutions: Change bad habits into positive virtues. Any time you feel yourself drawn to sin, spend time praying instead in order to turn your mind toward God. Or, use the opportunity to form other good habits instead. For example, instead of spending the day on the couch, get outside with a hike or a walk to get some air.
Illness Many illnesses are genetic, and therefore passed down from a parent to a child. In this way, illnesses might be said to be a kind of generational curse. They’re often nobody’s fault, but rather the result of original sin (when Adam and Eve first disobeyed God and inflicted pain upon the world) but still they linger and cause distress. Illnesses may be physical, like cancer, or mental, like depression or addiction, all of which might be passed genetically. Signs: Chronic or hereditary illnesses, addiction, mental illnesses like depression or other disorders, fatigue, lack of passion for God or the family Solutions: While illness can be difficult to cope with, Exodus 23:25 says, “You shall serve the Lord your God, and he will bless your bread and your water, and I will take sickness away from among you,” suggesting that deepening your faith may help you understand and live with illness. Matthew 9:12 encourages the sick to seek treatment, saying: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” If you struggle with a physical illness, visiting a doctor is a safe and faith-informed way to handle it.
Are generational curses real?
Generational curses aren’t totally supported by the Bible. Ezekiel 18:20 states, “The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child.” This suggests that later generations won’t be blamed for the sins of earlier generations, which may reconfigure how we approach the concept of a generational curse. That said, just because children aren’t to be blamed for their parents’ sins, it doesn’t mean they aren’t affected by or don’t suffer because of those sins.
Generational curses do have some scientific evidence. What Christians view as “generational curses,” psychologists might call “generational trauma.” Generational trauma is the idea that a certain trauma or misfortune that happens to a parent can persist into the life of a child, causing further trauma or misfortune. These misfortunes are varied and diverse, from illnesses to societal injustices to physical abuse. For example, a parent with an alcohol addiction might inflict physical or emotional pain on their child, which may cause the child to grow up to develop their own addiction, which in turns affects their child.
Breaking Generational Curses
Identify patterns of misfortune in your family. Before you can break a curse, you first need to identify the curse. Think about the misfortunes you struggle with and ask yourself if your parents or your own children struggle with the same misfortunes. For example, do you struggle with poverty? Illness? Addiction? A traumatic experience? Find the thread that links the struggle across generations.
Ask your parents about their struggles, and for advice. Our parents are a valuable source of information on generational traumas. After all, they came before us and battled those curses first. If you can, ask them about their experiences with your own struggles, and how they navigated them. They may not have all the answers, but they may have indispensable wisdom that can help you with your current situation. Or, ask your own children about their own struggles. Even if they don’t have years of experience under their belts, they can still be valuable fonts of knowledge, and two generations putting their heads together are better than one. For example, say, “I’ve been thinking about my illness lately, and remembered you struggled with the same illness. Can you tell me more about how you handled it?”
Tell new, positive stories about your family history. Often, generational traumas are a self-fulfilling prophecy. Focusing too much on your family’s misfortunes may make repeating those misfortunes inevitable. Instead, tell your parents and children positive stories from your family. Ask your parents for fun stories from their lives that demonstrate courage or good morals, or think of stories from your own life, and tell them to your family to help instill more hope and faith in themselves and the world around them. Write those stories down in a notebook or a digital document to make a lasting collection that you can share with your entire family.
Turn to your faith or community for stability. In times of turbulence or struggle, turning to your faith can provide profound insight. Prayer can provide a productive grounding activity. Also, you don’t have to face your generational trauma alone. Rather, talk to other people in your faith community, like after church or during community events like potlucks, and ask them about their own experiences. They may have helpful advice or valuable resources. If you’re not religious or don’t have a faith community, consider joining even starting a support group which can gather like-minded people of similar experience to pool resources and find solutions. Incorporate some simple prayers for breaking curses into your worship. For example: “Lord, thank you for protecting my family, and please help us overcome our struggles,” or, “Holy Spirit, help guide my family away from our generational curses and seek God in all things.”
Talk to a therapist about your own struggles. Telling your problems to a professional can help get some perspective from a third party. Chatting with a therapist, someone who’s not involved in the cycle of your generational troubles, may help you find a way out of them that you can’t see from inside. Tell your therapist the nature of your generational trauma, how it affects you, and how it affects your parents or children to give them a full picture.
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