What is “boyfriend air”?
The “boyfriend air” theory suggests that spending time with your boyfriend negatively affects your appearance. Many women have taken to social media to discuss this phenomenon, reporting that their hair, makeup, and complexion tend to look worse after spending time at their boyfriend's place. With no other obvious explanation for their disheveled appearances, these women have joked that the air around their boyfriends (i.e., “boyfriend air”) must be to blame.
Where did the term “boyfriend air” come from?
The term “boyfriend air” was popularized on TikTok. In 2023, TikTok users (generally women in relationships with men) began posting about a decline in their appearance after hanging out with their significant others. In these humorous posts, users shared videos of themselves looking confident and put-together before seeing their boyfriends, then cut to videos of themselves looking disheveled afterward, blaming “boyfriend air” for the change. Some “boyfriend air” videos on TikTok depict the change in the user’s appearance from before dating their boyfriend to being in a relationship with them, rather than depicting the change in their appearance over the course of one night. The “boyfriend air” trend evolved out of the “school air” trend, which started in 2022. In this earlier trend, users claimed that they looked inexplicably worse at school, and they blamed “school air” for this phenomenon.
Is “boyfriend air” real?
“Boyfriend air” isn’t a scientific phenomenon, but there may be some truth to it. The actual air around your boyfriend doesn’t have any mystical effect on the way you look. There are, however, several logical reasons why you may feel like your appearance changes around your boyfriend. These include having less time to do your full beauty and skincare routines, getting less sleep, and sleeping on your boyfriend’s pillowcases (which may not have been washed). We’ll go over some of these possible reasons in more depth below.
Possible Reasons Behind the Boyfriend Air Phenomenon
Changes to your beauty routine When you’re spending the night at your boyfriend's or getting home super late, you’re much less likely to keep up with your regular skincare regimen. Instead of going through your whole routine (cleanser, toner, moisturizer, serum, etc.) you might just grab a makeup wipe, or even fall asleep in your makeup. Over time, this can cause breakouts, oiliness, blotchiness, or dullness, which could be the reason you feel less attractive when you spend a lot of time with your boyfriend. There might also be parts of your beauty routine that you feel too embarrassed or shy to do around your boyfriend. For example, maybe you usually put a visible amount of spot treatment on each of your blemishes before bed or sleep with your hair in a heatless curling set. If you’re not comfortable doing these things around your boyfriend, you’re more likely to forgo them when you sleep over, which can affect the way you look when you wake up.
Not getting as much sleep If you’re staying up super late to hang out with your boyfriend, you may notice that you look disheveled when you get home, and you may even feel like you look tired or dull the next morning. This is likely because you aren’t keeping up with your regular sleep schedule. In fact, a lack of sleep is associated with red, swollen eyes, dark circles, paler skin, and more wrinkles and fine lines.
Sleeping on your boyfriend’s pillowcases If you’re staying the night at your boyfriend’s house, you’re probably not bringing a pillowcase from home. As a result, you’re forced to sleep on one of your boyfriend’s pillowcases, and he may not wash them as often as you wash yours. Oils from these pillowcases can cause breakouts, which may make you feel less attractive than usual when you wake up in the morning. If you usually sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase at home to protect your hair, sleeping on your boyfriend’s pillowcase can also leave you with frizzier, more disheveled hair than you’re used to.
Feeling super comfortable (and less worried about looks) around him When you’ve been dating someone for awhile, you tend to become more comfortable around them, and therefore less worried about dressing to the nines or doing a full-face of makeup. As a result, you may start to feel like you’re less attractive now that you’re in your relationship, but this is absolutely not the case—you’re just more at ease around him, which is a good thing!
How to Prevent the Effects of “Boyfriend Air”
Use techniques to help your makeup looks last longer. Many believers of the “boyfriend air” theory report that their makeup doesn’t last when they’re hanging out with their boyfriend. This may be because you’re snuggling, kissing, or simply staying out super late, which can cause your makeup to smudge, fade, or sweat off. To combat this, try using a setting spray to lock in your makeup looks, and consider opting for waterproof eyeliner and mascara, which tend to last longer. You can also pack some blotting papers to absorb oils on your face throughout the night, which helps your foundation stay intact.
Pack a small self-care kit when you stay at your boyfriend’s overnight. If you’re planning on spending the night at your boyfriend’s place, pack a mini skincare and beauty kit in your overnight bag. Just fill up some travel-sized bottles with your shampoo, conditioner, face wash, moisturizer, toner, serum, eye cream—whatever you typically use! If you really want to go all out, you can bring a clean pillowcase from home to protect your skin and hair, as well.
Prioritize your sleep routine. It’s easy to lose track of time when you’re hanging out with your boyfriend, but if you’ve noticed that you’re looking a bit tired and worn out lately, it might be because you’re staying out too late. Making an effort to get home at a decent hour (or to go to sleep at a decent hour if you’re staying over at his place) could help you look more refreshed and put-together in the morning.
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