Attractive Personality Traits
Sense of humor Marilyn Monroe once said, “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything”— researchers can now agree that she was on to something. Having a good sense of humor and making a woman laugh illustrate two other very important qualities: intelligence and creativity. A man’s ability to think fast on his feet and keep the banter going back and forth like a ping pong ball is instrumental in disarming his crush. Meet the wikiHow Experts John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker with over 15 years of professional experience. Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker and Dating Coach with nearly 10 years of experience. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 15 years of experience.
Kindness While girls may be attracted to “bad” boys, it doesn’t necessarily mean that good guys finish last. A recent research study concluded that kindness is one of the most sought-after traits women look for in a partner. Empathy and generosity don’t directly affect your physical appearance, but they do serve to draw others toward you. Women seek to form connections with men who seem approachable, friendly, and considerate of others— that could be you!
Loyalty It’s normal for a woman in a committed relationship to want to be their beau’s one and only, although this can seem like a tall order in this day and age. Studies concluded that nearly 25% of adult men admitted to cheating on their significant others, slightly higher than the 19% of women who confessed to their own indiscretions. A loyal man communicates more than just sexual discipline—it proves him to be trustworthy, devoted, and morally sound.
Maturity Age gap relationships are not uncommon, especially ones in which a younger woman is dating an older man. Research shows that many women prefer older men, and this may be due to a variety of reasons, including emotional maturity. Women tend to value a man who understands, empathizes, and can even offer advice when conflicts arise. Emotional maturity in men is often viewed as synonymous with emotional stability and someone who is more romantic, supportive, and wise. Sounds like the full, mature package! Financial stability is another potential benefit of dating a mature man. Licensed Psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD explains, “Women tend to be more attracted to men based on how well he can protect and provide versus how good he looks, so if he’s stable and safe, she will find that attractive.”
Purpose Women appreciate a man who has drive, ambition, and goals to meet. A man with a purpose in life shows that he is able to intelligently create a plan, take steps toward fulfilling it, and ultimately persevere. Goal-setting suggests high aspirations, passion, and the intention to follow through— all very admirable qualities. Additionally, men with purpose are often very resilient, continuing to pick themselves up after they’ve stumbled. Alessandra Conti shares that purpose is tied to success, another highly-coveted quality: “There's definitely nothing wrong with liking men who are successful… or with wanting somebody that you look up to and you're excited about.”
Confidence Confidence can be one of the most attractive qualities a man can possess as it demonstrates authenticity, assertiveness, and a clear sense of self. Celebrity matchmaker and dating coach Alessandra Conti says that “attraction begins with feeling attractive.” She notes that it’s imperative that you “work on yourself” and “the way that you look, the way that you're presenting yourself, and the way that you're feeling.” In essence, when you look good, you feel good— and the ladies will agree.
Mindfulness Women go for men who are present, attentive, engaging, and all around mindful. They want a partner who will grant them their undivided attention and respect, who will value their opinions, and always strive to be better. Mindful and intentional communication can set your relationship on the path to success, as it makes both people feel seen and understood, creating a strong emotional connection that can stand the test of time.
What makes a guy attractive physically?
Muscles Whether she’s a sucker for a good bicep, rippling pectorals, or washboard abs, a little muscle can go a long way. Muscular men have more sexual partners than their less fit counterparts because women reportedly seek out that body type for shorter-term relationships. For more meaningful and long-term relationships, women tend to look beyond the flexes at qualities like trustworthiness and emotional stability. However, if it’s just a fling, muscles will win!
Deep voice Why do women go for men with deep, sultry radio voices? If you answered “biology,” you’d be correct. As it turns out, the depth of our voices indicates the general size of our bodies and strength by association. A deep voice implies that it’s coming from a big, strong, capable man, easily able to swoop you up and bring you to safety, should a dangerous situation ever arise. Similarly, men prefer women with higher-pitched voices since that is a marker of youth and fertility— ideal for childbirth, motherhood, and— what do you know— the continuation of our species.
Tall height The psychology behind preferring a tall man versus a shorter one is tied back to biology and masculinity. Taller men are viewed as more athletic and masculine by extension, whereas shorter men can be viewed as less masculine and physically inept. By that logic, if height is viewed by women as a biological asset, then the lack of height is often viewed as an issue. Studies have found that women are most satisfied in relationships with men who are about 8 inches (21cm) taller than them are on average, although that’s definitely not the reality for many happy, comparatively-sized couples!
Facial symmetry This marker of attraction applies to both men and women since everyone can apparently agree that symmetry equals hotness. These preferences extend across culture, geography, race, and religion: symmetrical faces are considered the most attractive all around. Of course, not having two perfectly matching halves of the same face is quite normal, and most people have one eye that’s bigger than the other, a slightly more naturally flared nostril, or a more curved side to the lip. A truly symmetrical face is more of an ideology dictated by evolutionary science. In essence, humans want to procreate with the most suitable mate, and facial symmetry provides the illusion of genetic superiority. Masculine facial symmetry could mean a square jaw, high cheekbones, a wide forehead, or a strong, angular nose.
Good scent If men are visual creatures, women are nasal ones. While men look for visual cues of fertility, beauty, and youth, women trust their noses more than their eyes. In fact, scent is the number one sense used by women to find a suitable male specimen. Pheromones, or chemical reactions sent out by the body to determine attraction and chemical compatibility, certainly play a role. Even without cologne, a man’s natural mustiness may be enough to arouse, entice, and comfort a woman. So, scent wields a lot of power.
Light facial hair Facial hair has long been associated with manliness, but changing attitudes and trends about masculinity have thrown a few wrenches in the mix in recent years. However, research has shown that women generally have a sweet spot preference when it comes to facial hair for men: just a little bit of stubble. As it turns out, women link a scruffy appearance to an appropriate and approachable level of manliness. It also hints at maturity and wisdom— two highly sought-after personality traits! No matter what your facial hair situation is, dating coach John Keegan notes the importance of taking care of your hair and physical appearance in general: “The first thing you can do is get groomed...and get clothes that are in style.” Keegan adds that you don’t have to “go over the top” with a makeover, but it would be a good idea to invest in “good-fitting jeans” and t-shirts, as well as a trendy, functional piece, like an Apple Watch.
Wide upper body While men tend to fixate on women’s hip-to-waist ratio, women are more interested in men’s waist-to-chest ratio. A wider chest and back, as well as wide shoulders, can significantly make a man stand out. Width is important as it indicates virility and strength while also suggesting a genetic advantage, which many women would like to pass on to their children. Big, wide shoulders may also be intimidating to other men, making these men fierce opponents and protectors from a biological perspective.
Final Thoughts
Good looks play a role, but they’re not as important as you may think. While some physical features can tip the scales, many women prioritize personality over handsomeness. Psychology shows that women pick more attractive, physically fit men for short-term flings, but go for average looks coupled with emotional intelligence, humor, and loyalty when it comes to finding a life partner. Moreover, personal grooming and hygiene are also very important, even if you’re already conventionally attractive. According to some sources, women are reportedly happier in relationships with average-looking men, for a variety of reasons. These include feeling safe and not wanting to have to “keep up” with an ultra-fit, highly desirable type of man. This all goes to show that attracting a woman is all about you, your personality, and how confidently you present yourself.
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