New Delhi: We have a day for everyone - Children's Day, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Girl Child Day, Veterinary Day, Family Day, Friendship Day, Teachers Day, International Women's Day to the extent even an Animal Welfare Day and most of these are celebrated with much fanfare. But tell someone about a Men's Day and you would either be laughed at, made fun of or perhaps be called an Idiot!
Well, why on earth do we need a Men's Day in this male dominated world, ask many. Though this question itself casts shadow on idea of true gender equality, but let me try and answer.
In my view, we do not celebrate Women's Day just because women are discriminated against in the society or they have several issues that need to be discussed and debated. We celebrate women's day to salute the spirit of a woman - a woman who is a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend - her care and love that adds immense value to our lives. Similarly Valentine's Day is to celebrate the spirit of love, Teachers Day is to celebrate the contribution of our teachers and Friendship Day is to celebrate true friendship and so on.
So why not celebrate Men's Day?
If I rewind my life, I have always been helped, supported, encouraged, trained, protected, guided, loved more by men than women (I of course remember being bullied by girls in school, college, hostel and then at the workplace.) Not only the ones close to me but the ones who I meet as strangers - the autowallah, the sabziwallah, the kudawallah, the electrician, the plumber - most of who are Men. It doesn't matter how difficult the job, they make it happen for me. Should I not say thanks? The Army 'Men' are protecting us on the borders. Should I not say thanks?
It is very easy to blame everything on patriarchy but how many women opt for doing the most difficult jobs? So should we not say thanks to the men who are doing it? In my view Yes! We should not only say thanks to them but also acknowledge and understand issues that concern them and try and help.
But my view is not the world's view. World's view perhaps is dominated by the feminist's view that believes and propagates that only women have issues! Only women need to be celebrated for the sacrifices they make.
Anyone who goes against it is an outcast, misogynist. Anyone who raises a voice for men is damned. To mention, a video that's been released by a deodorant brand "He" asking people to celebrate men's day and acknowledge contribution by men, has been condemned and made fun of on news websites (of course by women.) That quite really exposes the way feminists think.
Men have issues too but sadly no outlet to share. Even if they do, they are laughed at. If a man cheats a woman, it's a big issue. If a woman cheats a man, he is asked to let it go. If a man beats a woman, it is domestic violence. If a woman beats up a man, she is empowered and perhaps he 'deserved' it. If a man refuses to marry a woman, he is a rapist. If a woman refuses to marry a man, she is making a choice. If a woman complains against a man, he is presumed guilty. If a man complains against a woman, well......can he?
More men end their lives in India as compared to women. There is no substantial research to find reasons and no one considers it important. There is no scale to measure violence on men by women. So there are no statistics. There is no official forum for them to be heard so they end up calling women helpline and report abuse. Feminists who apparently fight for 'equality for all" don't have any answer when questioned about these gaps. A woman still has the option to first depend on father and then on her husband, but a man has to play the role of a protector and provider else he is not considered man enough.
Every man out there is not a Criminal, not every man's favourite time pass to trouble women. My father's sacrifices for me and my family would be equal to my mother's if not more. If I applaud efforts and contribution of my mother as a woman, I must acknowledge the selfless endeavours of my father as a man. If I understand pains and issues of my mother as a woman, I must understand difficulties and pressures on my father as a man. I should not take him for granted.
And that's why I salute him as a man, for being the man he is. Not only him but every man around me, who sacrifices his own comforts to make things possible for me! True Gender Equality means equal respect and also equal gratitude to all. So, say thanks to the men in your lives and celebrate International Men's Day with same spirit and zeal as you would celebrate women's day. Also, take a vow to not judge someone just because he is a "man."
Happy International Men's Day!
(Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj is a journalist and a documentary filmmaker. She is currently documenting misuse of section 498A of IPC through her documentary film 'Martyrs of Marriage.' She can be reached at [email protected])
This is a video released by a Deodorant brand HE asking people to celebrate Men's Day.
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