A man should make the first move, he should say the three magical words before, he should ask you out for a date. All of us have certain expectations about the gender roles in a relationship. When two people come together, they come with pre conceived notions about gendered realities. The traditional expectations in a relationship buoyed by rom-coms are entrenched in hetero-normative dating structures.
How do we break free?
Acknowledging and critiquing these notions is important and challenging ourselves to not fall in the trap of gendered expectations. “Start with developing a more honest, compassionate, loving bond with your partner. Keep your expectations low and pay less heed to rom-coms,” says Dr. Syed Zafar Sultan Rizvi, Assistant Professor, Deptt. Of Psychology, SLA, Noida International Institute of Medical Sciences, Noida International University.
Start by asking what you want and stop going by societal standards of what an ideal relationship should be. Dr Ishina Choudhary, counselling psychologist and founder of Insight Alchemy, says, “First and the foremost is to give a reality check to your partner and also to stop comparing with anyone else, as everyone has their own life journey and different story.” Make them understand that life is not always good or has a happy ending, which we see in movies and world of reels
She adds, “Expose them to know that there is a lot of difference in-between real and reel life. A couple should create that level of understanding that life is a blend of good and bad, so they have to be ready for dealing and facing all situations.”
Don’t ape others, make your own relationship rules. Support each others interests and make space for them to grow. Responding with encouragement is of vital importance in a relationship.
When your partner discusses their ideas of an ideal relationship, hear them out with patience. Don’t judge or laugh it off, try to meet them halfway. This will ensure both of you are accountable for the set expectations. Dr. Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist draws out tips to deal with expectations.
Be willing to compromise
In any relationship, compromises will need to be made from time to time. For example, if you’re hoping to spend more time pursuing your own interests outside of the relationship, be willing to compromise on some of your other commitments in order to make that happen. The key is to find a balance that works for both you and your partner.
Don’t be afraid to experiment
One of the best things about breaking free from traditional expectations is that it gives you the opportunity to experiment in your relationship. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, try something new and see how it goes!Of course, it’s important to discuss any major changes with your partner beforehand. But as long as you’re both on board, don’t be afraid to experiment and have some fun!
Remember that relationships take work
Just because you’re breaking free from traditional expectations doesn’t mean that your relationship will be perfect. Relationships take work, no matter what form they take.Be sure to put in the effort to nurture and grow your relationship, even when things are tough. With a little work, you can create a strong and lasting bond with your partner.
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