WORLD CANCER DAY 2023: It is better to ask how you can help the person suffering from cancer than making assumptions about their wants and needs. It becomes quite tough for all to deal with the situation when one among your family members, friends or relatives suffer from cancer. You may be plagued with different types of worries, from how your loved ones will be able to cope with the illness to how best you can help and support them.

Since every person with cancer will have a unique experience and a different reaction, there is no surefire way how you can help. This might leave you with a feeling of being unsure about what to say or do for the person fighting the toughest battle of life. Yet knowing you are there for them can always give them much needed moral and emotional support.

Here is what you should bear in mind when you are trying to provide emotional support to someone with cancer:

1. Seek PermissionYou might not know what to do in an unexpected situation like this. It is okay, in fact, it might be better to ask the person going through their cancer journey for guidance as to how they want to be helped. It is better than making assumptions about their wants and needs. This allows you to be involved in their care.
2. Be A Good ListenerSome people will want you to listen without being their “cheerleader”. Keep the judgement to the minimum and avoid saying anything that you might not want to hear yourself. Phrases like “you will be fine” might pop up when we are trying to comfort someone, but it is more helpful to just listen.
3. Offer To HelpPeople are likely to appreciate an offer to be helped despite it not being easy for them to accept it. Keep your offer specific. It can include helping with childcare, pet care, a ride to an appointment with a doctor, or preparing a meal. In case, your gesture is declined, do not take it personally.
4. Engage In A Variety Of TopicsCancer is already hard enough for anyone going through it. People going through the treatment often need a break from talking about it. Talk to them about their interests, hobbies, and anything other than topics not related to cancer.
5. Say If You Are Feeling “Awkward”On the other hand, don’t just pretend the situation does not exist. If you feel awkward or have a hard time knowing what to say let your loved ones know. It is better to acknowledge the situation rather than pretend it’s not happening.

What Not To Do

1. Give Your OpinionNever say that you know how they feel. It is impossible to know exactly how a person feels, regardless of whether they have cancer or not. People fighting cancer especially do not need to hear this. We can never know exactly how someone with cancer feels.
2. Cheerlead ThemAs well-intentioned as it might be, do not tell someone to “be strong” or “be positive”. They are entitled to feel the emotions they are feeling. By saying such words, they might feel pressure to behave a certain way or conceal their true emotions.
3. Be Offended Over Their ReactionsSomeone fighting cancer might have a multitude of reactions to their situation. This can range from being angry to being in despair. Do not take things personally if they express these emotions or don’t want to talk.
4. Give AdviceYou might have done some research on your end or asked a trusted person about how to help your loved one. If they have not asked for your advice, it is better to not offer it.

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