Hiding Depression Around Friends
Avoid social situations with a large group of friends. It can be difficult to hide your depression around others, especially friends who know you well. To keep your depression hidden, you can try to avoid social situations with large groups of friends so you do not have to pretend to be happy and engaged around others. Stick to a small, close group of friends, so you don’t have to hide your depression all the time. Keep in mind if you are usually a sociable person and you turn down invitations to group hang outs or group events, you may arouse suspicion from your friends. Often, it is more useful to talk about your depression with others rather than avoid social situations to keep it hidden, as it can be difficult to hide your true feelings from your friends. If your attendance at a large gathering is unavoidable, possibly for a work function, try to limit your time at the venue or allow for frequent breaks to the bathroom to take a break. Don’t try to get through the whole night without taking some time for yourself, away from the crowd. Continue to manage your feelings rather than suppress them completely.
Make an appearance at social events with close friends. To counteract any suspicions that you may be experiencing depression, you should make the effort to put in a brief appearance at social events, especially if it is with a few close friends. Showing up at social events will show your friends that you are still able to go out and be around others, even if you are in fact dealing with depression. You can also try your best to act positive and motivated at these social events or put on a happy face. However, doing this can be exhausting and you may end up being honest about your feelings of depression with close friends. This can be a good and useful thing, as it is often better to share your depressed feelings with others rather than try to keep them hidden.
Change the subject if depression or anxiety comes up in a conversation. To sidestep any discussion around your depression, you may try to switch to a different subject if a friend is discussing her feelings of anxiety or if she expresses concern about your depression. You may bring up the latest television shows or movies, or ask her about school or work. Changing the subject can be one way to keep your depression hidden and avoid having to discuss it with someone else. Often, changing the subject can be seen as a clear sign of avoidance, especially if your friends are already concerned about you. Assuring friends you are doing fine or feeling great may also only show them you are struggling with feelings of sadness and anxiety as it may be difficult for you to put on a convincing happy face. You can also be direct in your conversations with others by telling them you appreciate their concern, but that you are unable to or do not want to talk about anxiety or depression right now. For example, “Sara, I know you really care about me and that’s why you are asking about depression, but I’m not able to talk about it right now. I will definitely let you know when I’m ready to talk and what you can do to help.”
Spend time with others who have struggled with depression. Being on your own will relieve you from having to pretend you are not depressed around others, but it may also cause you to feel more isolated and alone. Another option is to find other friends or acquaintances who have also struggled with depression, as you may feel more comfortable being open about your depression around them. This will allow you to hide your depression from some of your friends and share it with others who will be sympathetic and understanding. Though it may be hard to share your feelings of depression with others, keeping them hidden can make your depression worse and threaten your safety and well-being. Confiding your negative feelings to someone else who is struggling with the same feelings can help you to feel better and put you on the road to recovery from depression. If you have a friend who is currently struggling with depression, it is ok to spend time together, but you both also need to seek support from others who are not depressed or who have recovered from depression. It is hard enough to deal with your own depression and adding the low thoughts and feelings of someone else can bring you both further down. Love each other, but save room for others too.
Hiding Depression in the Workplace
Make a plan for how to cope throughout the day. If you're really struggling with depression but you still need to put on a brave face at work, try to come up with 3 things you can do that will help you feel okay. That will be a lot more helpful than just trying to mask it. For instance, you might plan to go out to lunch rather than staying in the office, make it a point to talk to a coworker who cheers you up, and rearrange your calendar to work on something you enjoy.
Focus on your work, rather than your depression. Depression can make it difficult to concentrate and focus, especially on task-based work or process-related work. But focusing on developing your career can help you to hide the fact that you are feeling depressed. Try to set work goals every day that are realistic and productive and make daily to-do lists. Take good notes during meetings so you do not appear to be distracted or troubled. Maintain good communication with your clients and strive to meet their expectations. While setting goals and keeping to-do lists can keep you on track and distracted from your depression, you may start to notice that your depression is making it harder and harder to concentrate. Over time, if you do not get help for your depression, it may become very difficult to focus on your career and you may not be able to balance your career with your troubled mental state. Spend extra time on self-care during the day by taking frequent breaks, talking with coworkers, going for a walk, or getting a healthy snack. Be extra gentle with yourself as you try to continue to be productive at work in spite of the depression.
Avoid office conversations around depression or anxiety. It can be difficult to hide your depression when someone talks about their depression or anxiety in a conversation at the office. You may want to change the subject when depression or anxiety comes up so you do not feel obligated to share your feelings of depression as well, or excuse yourself from the conversation. Be aware that sharing your feelings of depression can often make you feel better and less alone. Though avoiding conversations around depression and anxiety can help you to keep your depression hidden and secret, it will likely not make you feel less depressed.
Getting Help for Your Depression
Talk about your depression with a close friend. You may want to hide your depression due to shame, guilt, or confusion about why you are feeling negative, sad, and alone. Though you may try to maintain an outside appearance to show everything is okay, hiding your feelings of depression will not allow you to get the help you need. Consider sharing your feelings with a close friend, family member, or your partner or spouse. Being honest about your feelings can often make you feel better and help you work with others to find ways to recover from depression.
Reach out to your workplace HR if you decide to confront your feelings of depression. Your workplace’s Human Resources representative may be a good resource to confide in if you decide to share your feelings of depression. Set up a one-on-one meeting with your company’s HR person so you can discuss your depression and how you feel it is affecting your workplace performance. Your HR person should offer you support options like a leave of absence from work, a depression support group contact, or a therapist through the company’s medical insurance. Many workplaces have resources available for employees who are struggling with depression and do not want it to negatively affect their careers.
Look for a therapist or counselor. To get hands-on help for your depression, you may consider hiring a therapist or a counselor who specializes in depression. Ask friends who also struggle with depression to refer you to a therapist or talk to your company’s HR for a contact for a counselor. You may also be able to hire a therapist through your personal healthcare plan. You can also talk to individuals who are professionally trained to deal with depression through a depression hotline in your state or country. You can do an online search for depression hotlines you can access toll free, 24 hours a day, in your area or call the national depression hotline at: 1-800-442-HOPE (4673).
Speak to your doctor about medication for your depression. The combination of psychological counseling and medication has been proven to be very effective for individuals suffering from depression. Your doctor can prescribe medications to help relieve your symptoms and suggest a therapist or psychologist to help you process your feelings of depression. Depending on the severity of your depression and your medical history, your doctor may prescribe antidepressant medication such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) like Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, or Lexapro; or serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) such as Cymbalta, Effexor XR, or Fetzima. Your doctor may prescribe tricyclic antidepressants like Tofranil or Pamelor, which can be effective but can also cause more severe side effects. Tricyclics are not usually prescribed unless you have already tried SSRIs and show no signs of improvement. Always discuss the potential side effects of antidepressant medications with your doctor before taking them and speak to your doctor if you experience any adverse effects while on these medications.
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