Recently I met my friend Pradeep, who works with a finance company in a senior position. After the initial chit chat, I asked him how he managed to look so fresh and cheerful.
He laughed and said, "Every weekend I die, and am reborn on Monday." Seeing my puzzled look, he laughed, "I don't mean literally, it's just that on Saturday, I forget myself, my worries, my work, my targets and deadlines, and I indulge myself in some of my favorite activities -- eating, having a drink or two, meeting friends, watching movies, reading sports.
Though almost everyone does this, the difference is that I also see to it that whenever a negative thought about work, money, children or health creeps up, I consciously divert my mind elsewhere. I literally try and rest the worry/anxiety/stress areas of my mind."
So what happens? I asked. "By Monday morning, I've completely chilled out, forgotten about all the small worries last week, and I'm fresh to go out into the world, like a newborn child."
I did not really believe him, but decided to try out what he did one weekend. On Saturday and Sunday, I started thinking about many problems, but remembered what Pradeep said, and diverted my mind elsewhere.
It was extremely difficult, but somehow I managed to go through the weekend without really giving much thought to my worries. And believe me, on Monday morning I was up by six am. I did not mind going to work, there were no Monday morning blues, and I felt energetic and fresh.
I soon realised that almost all of us try and recharge, re-energise and recoup, over the weekend. But the difference is that most of us, while physically on leave, are mentally very much caught up with our problems.
We did not and often could not give a break to our problems, in our mind. Unlike the body, the mind never seems to rest. Every few minutes, some thought or worry crops up, and as we start thinking about it, it grows and grows, and we feel miserable and sad.
Throughout the weekend, though we rest our bodies, our minds are extremely active and don’t get the much needed rest, except when we sleep.
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As a result, come Monday morning, and we are dreading the very act of going to work, interacting with people and doing our daily chores. Our mind has been working full time throughout the weekend, and is not rested and fresh.
There is no doubt that today, we are burdened by issues relating to our jobs, health, children, family, competition, money, the uncertain future -- so much so that these issues are playing non-stop in our minds.
Recently, one mother who came to consult with me told me that her husband had been diagnosed at the age of 35 with high blood pressure. When I enquired about the problem, she told me that her husband worked for a foreign bank, and was happy only when he was in office.
At home, during the weekend, he would be extremely restless, checking his emails on his Blackberry constantly, sitting on his laptop, and almost looking forward to Monday, when he could hit the office early in the morning.
Of course, the whole family would drag him to the movies or the malls, leaving him more stressed. His eight-year old son would often hide his Blackberry, so that dad would be free to talk and play with him. This, of course would send dad into a fit of rage.
Today, after his diagnosis, the doctor has given strict orders for rest and relaxation, something he should have done himself to avoid getting here.
Another mother who visited me told me that her husband would often blabber and talk in his sleep, often quoting figures and estimates. He once even got dressed on a Sunday to go to office, till she reminded him that it was a holiday.
So lost he was in his world of figures, deadlines and presentations that he actually forgot a Sunday. Obviously, with his mind so obsessed with work, it was no wonder that he was extremely absent minded, and did quite a few strange things, at home and at work.
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In order to squeeze the maximum out of your weekend break, and be literally reborn on Monday, here are some handy tips:
1. Try consciously to forget your office and your work once you leave it on a Friday evening.
2. Shut down your cell phone and avoid starting up your laptop over the weekend. Give yourself and your gadgets a much deserved weekend break. You and your gadgets will both enjoy a better and longer life!
3. Like you compulsorily take a physical break over the weekend, and rests your body, you must become aware that the mind too needs a break. And this can be done, firstly by becoming conscious of this fact, and secondly by voluntarily diverting the mind into pleasant thoughts, whenever these negative thoughts arise.
Slowly, these thoughts, which thrive on our mental attention and energy, start getting weaker, when we don’t give them space and time. Eventually, the number of such thoughts starts to come down, leaving the mind fresh for creative pursuits, and for reducing stress and anxiety levels.
4. Pack your weekend with ‘to do’ things, and let your mind not remain idle. Plan outings, visits to relatives, friends, movies, reading, and shopping. Get the family together and have an old fashioned ‘picnic’, once in a way. Do fun things together—swimming, taking a short road trip, eating out.
5. A glass or two of wine, apart from producing mental and physical relaxation, is also scientifically documented to reduce the incidence of a host of diseases, including heart disease. If you are a non-drinker, don’t start, but if you do drink, you can indulge in a glass or two of wine over the weekend.
6. Yoga and meditation classes scheduled over the weekend, by getting hold of a good teacher, will go a long way in refreshing the body and mind.
7. Picking up a creative hobby, like painting, drawing, poetry, music, reading and writing will take the mind away from the day to day worries and will divert it to a satisfying hobby, making you feel relaxed and contended, over the weekend. There are many people who tell me that they wish they had more time to do fun things. The weekend is the time to do these things.
8. Avoid taking sleeping pills over the weekend. Eventually, the quality of sleep with medicines is not half as good as natural sleep, and these medicines leave you feeling miserable. Try some massage, some aromatherapy, a hot bath, sauna, prayer, or listening to soft music, to achieve natural relaxation.
9. Above all, the final message is to live in the present moment, and to try and avoid thinking about the past few days or months, and to avoid worrying about the next few days to come.
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